#1 humor site on the 'net

Aye Matey

What the pirate said when he turned 80

Aye Matey thanks to Matthew Ewert

QuotaBills
A short life and a merry one at that! - Bartholomew Roberts

I'm not a pirate. I'm an innovator. - Ken Dotcom

Aren't most of you descended from pirates? - Prince Philip

Women in London must have learned not to breathe. - Irene Trimble

Every generation welcomes the pirates from the last. - Lawrence Lessig

If you want to get my attention, wear a pirate outfit. - Michelle Branch

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

It's more fun to be a pirate than to join the Navy. - Steve Jobs

Whether we wound or are wounded, the blood that flows is red. - Eiichiro Oda

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

Day and night, their frail and crippled ships defy the tempest. - Jorge Luis Borges

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

Charity followed the pirate. To salvation or to hell, she would soon find out. - Tamara Hughes

Life's pretty good, and why wouldn't it be? I'm a pirate, after all. - Johnny Depp

There is more treasure in books than all the pirate's loot on treasure island. - Walt Disney

Suddenly you're like a pirate, you're 65 years old and you've got an earring. - Fred Willard

When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones

I don't really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I'd be a contrarian pirate. - Todd Barry

A man never spoke ill of his captain, pirate or no, unless he was prepared to back his words with the might of the crew. - Matt Tomerlin

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

There's very little admirable about being a pirate. There's very little functional about a pirate. There's very little real about a pirate. - Will Oldham


Time To Hang Up The Thong

Our Grate Lord

Vertical Roller Coaster Ride

Girl's Party

Sleep Driving

Portuguese Airport Runway

Nintendo Wedding Cake

Going Nowhere Mall

Skateboard Suit

Texas Truck

Tailgate Coyote

Montreal Canadian Fan

Canadian Man Cave

Puffin Walk

Wine Gum Lamp

Stepladder Bike

Prison Escapee's Not-Quite-Clean Escape

Heh - That's My Ball!

Revenue Canada's Simplified Tax Form

Canadian Restroom Rules

Clever Man

Circular Residences - Roundabout Directions

Chicago Bears Win Stanley Cup

Loch-Risti Weather Forecasting Stone