#1 humor site on the 'net

End Of Shift

Time for sleep after a long day on the job

End Of Shift thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera. - James Stephens

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian. - Herman Melville

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

It is the trouble that never comes that causes the loss of sleep. - Charles Austin Bates

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

TV is simply a place where people go when they get tired of thinking. - Kevin Devitte

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

My feet will want to walk to where you are sleeping, but I shall go on living. - Pablo Neruda

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn. - Mahatma Gandhi

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep... the other wants to know if penguins have knees. - Unknown

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

For we are such stuff as dreams are made on
And our little lives are rounded with a sleep. - William Shakespeare

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

It's like wrestling a gorilla. You don't quit when you're tired - you quit when the gorilla is tired. - Robert Strauss

When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean. - Lin-Chi

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

Sometimes I feel like a groundhog. I wish that every time I saw my workplace I could just go down the hole and go off to sleep. - Sherry Bane

Study while others are sleeping; work while others are loafing; prepare while others are playing; and dream while others are wishing. - William Arthur Ward

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep. - Dale Carnegie

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


Driving Rain

Eddie Reward

Got Them All

Owlvis Presley

Motorcycle Limo

Runaway Tree

Human Explosion

Air Force Pilots

See You Later

Lunch Admirers

Loo View

Cell Phone Booth

Topless Kate Middleton

Skype Hype

Almost Batman

Cadillac Bike

Donut Decadence

Manmade Beach in Japan

Bacon Bikes

Animal Taxi

Lego Key Holder

Mechanic Apprentice

Redneck Helicopter

Hairy Egg