#1 humor site on the 'net

Irish Handcuffs

Guinness establishes hand-e solution in Ireland

Irish Handcuffs thanks to Howard Chapman

Guinness Draught is a Irish Dry Stout style beer brewed by Guinness Ltd. in Dublin, Ireland
QuotaBills
I am very proud to be Irish. - Philip Treacy

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth

I have a thing for red-haired Irish boys, as we know. - Sandra Bullock

Yelling Irish, you can sound like an angry Leprechaun. - Norman Reedus

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part. - Irish Blessings

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler

I'm an Irish Catholic and I have a long iceberg of guilt. - Edna O'Brien

I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

I had a very happy childhood, which is unsuitable if you're going to be an Irish writer. - Maeve Binchy

I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams

I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle

I'm Irish on St. Patrick's Day. I'm Italian on Columbus Day. I'm a New Yorker every day. - Tamara Tunie

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison

I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - the Joe-kster


Quit Your Wining

Beef Teeth

Poor Fortune Cookie Message

Dance With Me

Redneck Fish Finder

Pepper Face

Better Than Concrete

Guaranteed Women Attraction

Rib Tickler

Spring Is In The Air

Safe Seat Belt

Leaf Surgery

Keyboard Running Shoes

Ten Miles Gallery

30th 'Pearl' Wedding Anniversary of Trudy and Joe Defries

Pickup Bartender

Tree Loft

Instant Antidepressant

Ukraine Skype

Who Lost The Keys?

Great White Socks

Master Chef Eggspert

Tire Trike

Pokemon Chasing