#1 humor site on the 'net

Israeli Date

Does your girlfriend carry an M-16?

Israeli Date thanks to Roy Turkington

QuotaBills
Salivation Army - Archie Bunker

An army marches on its stomach. - Napoleon Bonaparte

A good soldier is a poor scout. - Cheyenne Proverb

Love is a kind of military service. - Ovid

I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

Skill and confidence are an unconquered army. - George Herbert

The army is the true nobility of our country. - Napoleon III

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. - Groucho Marx

Marketing strategy is a lot like military strategy. - Liddell Hart

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

The dead soldier's silence sings our national anthem. - Aaron Kilbourn

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

Where some states have an army, the Prussian army has a state. - Voltaire

Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty daughters kill people. - Unknown

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

A piece of spaghetti or a military unit can only be led from the front end. - George S Patton

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

You still can't find Israel on a map of the Middle East in a Palestinian schoolbook. - Suzanne Fields

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime. - Alphonse Allais

Samson, he takes the jawbone out of the grass and he kills the whole army of the Phillipines. - Archie Bunker

It used to be that when all else failed, a guy went into the army; now he becomes a consultant. - Blackie Sherrod

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep. I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion. - Alexander the Great

The first who was king was a fortunate soldier: Who serves his country well has no need of ancestors. - Voltaire

I didn't know that painters and writers retired. They're like soldiers – they just fade away. - Lawrence Ferlinghetti

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its stupidity. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts. - Robert H. Schuller

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher


God Darts

How To Improve New Orleans

Alberta Hood Ornament

Florida Golf Hazard

'Cover Girl' Magazine

Baby Clone

Smooth Leaning Shoes

One Glass Per Day

Paradise Found

Rastaurant

Billionaire Thoughts

Waiting Is Good

Low Expectation Autographs

Hide and Seek

1st Baby Photo

British Holiday

Katoomba Railway

Master Reference Binder

Spot The Surfer

In Hind Sight

Men's Vacuum Cleaner

French Red Wine

Medusa Shower

Egyptian Strawberries