#1 humor site on the 'net

Jewish Assembly

There's always someone who stands out in a crowd

Jewish Assembly thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Clowning around in Jerusalem - Dare to be different

They called him Phylactery Phil

QuotaBills
Well, you can always be a clown. - Chantal Blanchard

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

A clown enriched knows neither relation nor friend. - French Proverb

Entertain a clown and you become part of the circus. - Unknown

A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast. - Groucho Marx

I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it. - Henny Youngman

What's the matter? You look like you just saw a clown. - Dean Winchester

There is nothing laughable about a clown in the moonlight. - Lon Chaney

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive. - Dale Carnegie

I'm kosher except for times where I eat pork and shellfish. - Roseanne Barr

I'm not a Jew. I'm Jewish. I don't go the whole hog. - Jonathan Miller

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

You still can't find Israel on a map of the Middle East in a Palestinian schoolbook. - Suzanne Fields

I certainly don't live in a kosher home although I was raised in a kosher environment. - Leonard Nimoy

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

I was the class clown so I was used to performing and fooling around in front of my friends. - Dominic Monaghan

Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials. - Mordecai Richler

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies. - Milton Berle

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman


Egg Timer

Shell Sink

Wicked Wok Catch

Tight Tractor

Been Lapped

Family Jewels

WalMart Math

RoostHair

Big Deluge Ahead

Pickup Park

A Woman's Hands

Bombay Tech Support

Hillbilly Tooth Fairy

Baked Tulips

Plane Restaurant

Office Cord Support

Mechanics Gone Wrong - Car Teeter Totter

Dear Crossing

Run Down Apartments

Lethal Weapon

Surfing Car

Dog Heels

Butt Meter

Wall Climb