#1 humor site on the 'net

Laxative Cream Pie

Mom's secret recipe for flatulent dessert

Laxative Cream Pie thanks to Howard Chapman

How she made things interesting while stuck in the kitchen cooking and cleaning while the men sat around watching football

QuotaBills
Lemon merinj pie - Archie Bunker

Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

Housework, if you do it right, can kill you. - Erma Bombeck

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? - Phyllis Diller

Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square. - Unknown

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done. - Unknown

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

A bright person can always think of something better to do than housework. - Ruby Lou Barnhill

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. - Dave Barry

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren


Tulip Snowpath

New Audi

Tower of Hammocks

Family Birthday Reminder

Dead Batteries

Ostrich Bush

Tetris Cake

T-Rex Shadow

Ordnance Table

Wine Bibber

Redneck Wireless Selfie

Tylenol Ban

GoosePrints

Louisiana Potholes

Cheers!

Billy Goat Gruff

Girlfriend Math

Coffee Days

Marathon Runner Tip

Seaweed Burger

Blinker Fluid

Doc In A Box

One At A Time

Life And Beer Are Very Similar