Meet Your Future Ex-Wife

The future is a great land. - Unknown

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Most of our future lies ahead. - Denny Crum

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

The dead are merely the countrymen of my future. - Dean Koontz

The future depends on what we do in the present. - Mahatma Gandhi

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

The future is made of the same stuff as the present. - Simone Weil

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

The mind that is anxious about future events is miserable. - Seneca

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past. - Thomas Jefferson

Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present. - Unknown

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

You don't just stumble into the future. You create your own future. - Roger Smith

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time. - Dean Acheson

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do. - Dylan Thomas

A speculator is a man who observes the future, and acts before it occurs. - Bernard Baruch

Curb your fretting, tadpole, or the frog of your future will fail to croak. - Paul Collins

Our imagination is the only limit to what we can hope to have in the future. - Charles F. Kettering

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life. - George Burns

How you see your future is much more important than what has happened in the past. - Zig Ziglar

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

When you forgive, you in no way change the past - but you sure do change the future. - Bernard Meltzer

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life. - George Burns

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

Unless you devote an enormous amount of time to anticipating the future, you won't have any future. - Ron Chernow

Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future. - Gail L. Buckley

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

The future will be what it will, and fretting about it will only make your fears more likely to come true. - Christopher Paolini

When we yield to discouragement it is usually because we give too much thought to the past and to the future. - St. Theresa of Lisieux

Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present. - Bill Keane

A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. - Lois Wyse

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - the Joe-kster