Meet Your Future Ex-Wife

Radio has no future. - Lord Kelvin

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

The future of business is social. - Barry Libert

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost

The dead are merely the countrymen of my future. - Dean Koontz

The future depends on what we do in the present. - Mahatma Gandhi

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

He that fears not the future may enjoy the present. - Thomas Fuller

The best way to predict the future is to invent it. - Alan Kay

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

The mind that is anxious about future events is miserable. - Seneca

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Children are one third of our population and all of our future. - Unknown

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

Curb your fretting, tadpole, or the frog of your future will fail to croak. - Paul Collins

Hold on to a ray of hope, and a promise of future... and follow your dreams. - Unknown

Lying makes a problem part of the future; truth makes a problem part of the past. - Rick Pitino

Descartes commanded the future from his study more than Napoleon from the throne. - Oliver Holmes

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. - George Carlin

Who controls the past controls the future; who controls the present controls the past. - George Orwell

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

My future starts when I wake up every morning. Every day I find something creative to do with my life. - Miles Davis

Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future. - Gail L. Buckley

One day you'll find someone who doesn't care about your past because they want to be your future. - Unknown

The future will be what it will, and fretting about it will only make your fears more likely to come true. - Christopher Paolini

I'd hate to be an alcoholic with Alzheimer's. Imagine needing a drink and forgetting where you put it. - George Carlin

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future. - Sydney J. Harris

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

History is a relentless master. It has no present, only the past rushing into the future. To try to hold fast is to be swept aside. - John F Kennedy

I will never again underestimate the power of anticipation. There is no better boost in the present than an invitation into the future. - Caroline Kepnes

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown