Meet Your Future Ex-Wife

Radio has no future. - Lord Kelvin

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

Inspiration is remembering the future. - Unknown

The future ain't what it used to be. - Yogi Berra

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is no future for a people who deny their past. - Adam Clayton Powell Jr.

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. - Oscar Wilde

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now. - Steven Wright

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Republicans are men of narrow vision, who are afraid of the future. - Jimmy Carter

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

Real generosity towards the future lies in giving all to the present. - Albert Camus

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. - Paul Boese

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

Curb your fretting, tadpole, or the frog of your future will fail to croak. - Paul Collins

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life. - George Burns

If we tried to sink the past beneath our feet, be sure the future would not stand it. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

I object to people running down the future. I intend to live the rest of my life there. - Charles F Kettering

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

My future starts when I wake up every morning. Every day I find something creative to do with my life. - Miles Davis

The future will be what it will, and fretting about it will only make your fears more likely to come true. - Christopher Paolini

The irony of the matter is that the future generations do not have a vote. In effect, we hold their proxy. - Charles J Hitch

Map out your future - but do it in pencil. The road ahead is as long as you make it. Make it worth the trip. - Jon Bon Jovi

The past exists only in our memories,
The future only in our plans.
The present is our only reality. - Robert Pirsig

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. - Lois Wyse

To make no mistake is not in the power of man; but from their errors and mistakes the wise and good learn wisdom for the future. - Plutarch

I will never again underestimate the power of anticipation. There is no better boost in the present than an invitation into the future. - Caroline Kepnes

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown