#1 humor site on the 'net

Money Drop

Taking overnight donations at the Old West Cafe in Grapevine, Texas

Money Drop thanks to joe-kster

'If we’re closed please shove your money under the door.'

QuotaBills
Money often costs too much. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A fool and his money are soon partying. - Steven Wright

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. - Milton Berle

Confidence is the hinge on the door to success. - Mary O'Hare Dumas

Money no longer talks. It just goes without saying. - George Humphrey

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. - George Burns

A grandfather carries pictures where his money used to be. - Joe-kster

Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin

Desire is the key that opens the door when opportunity knocks. - Unknown

I'd like to live like a poor man, only with lots of money. - Pablo Picasso

All successful revolutions are the kicking in of a rotten door. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Business? It's quite simple. It's other people's money. - Alexandre Dumas

The way to make money is to buy when blood is running in the streets. - John D. Rockefeller

I can remember way back when a liberal was generous with his own money. - Will Rogers

Money can't buy happiness, but it helps you look for it in more places. - Milton Berle

The man who never has money to pay his debts has too much of something else. - J.L. Basford

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you’re making too much money. - Robin Williams

He who is outside the door has already a good part of his journey behind him. - Dutch Proverb

Borrowed thoughts, like borrowed money, only show the poverty of the borrower. - Lady Marguerite Blessington

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

The door that nobody else will go in at seems always to swing open widely for me. - Clara Barton

With money in your pocket, you are wise and you are handsome - and you sing well too. - Yiddish Proverb

Imagination, of course, can open any door - turn the key and let terror walk right in. - Truman Capote

The principal benefit acting has afforded me is the money to pay for my psychoanalysis. - Marlon Brando

A true friend is the one that's coming in the door while everyone else is going out. - Dr. Phil McGraw

The present moment is the only moment available to us, and it is the door to all moments. - Thich Nhat Hanh

The man who leaves money to charity in his will is only giving away what no longer belongs to him. - Voltaire

I don't make deals for the money. I've got enough, much more than I'll ever need. I do it to do it. - Donald Trump

May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings

I've never sought success in order to get fame and money; it's the talent and the passion that count in success. - Ingrid Bergman

“But it doesn't take a thousand men to open a door, my lord."
"It might to keep it open.” - Ursula K. Le Guin

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. - Joan Rivers

The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away. Puzzling. - Robert M Pirsig

Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Street League Skateboarding is the premier professional skateboarding league in the world, with the biggest prize money in history. - Rob Dyrdek

I have respect for Senator McCain. I used to like him a lot. I supported him. I raised a lot of money for his campaign against President Obama. - Donald Trump

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. - Helen Keller


Clever Weather Billboard

Tree Huggers

Australian Construction Security

India Road Assistance

Cow Walking

Cultural Exchange

Meowzart

Bonus Baby

Strawberry Heart

Water Skiing in Russia

Plumber's Party

Hand Face

Moon Harvest

Reach For The High-Hanging Fruit

CheckMate

Ship Tow

Redneck Turkey Shoot

Costco Wine

Downer Parking

Baconurkey

Camel Herders of the 21st Century

Redneck Palm Pilot

Turkey Day Selfie

Spool Turkey