#1 humor site on the 'net

Once You're Awake

When it's especially hard to go back to sleep

Once You're Awake thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Memories are interpreted like dreams. - Leo Longanesi

Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

When we can't dream any longer, we die. - Emma Goldman

It may be that those who do most, dream most. - Stephen Leacock

No person has the right to rain on your dreams. - Marian Wright Edelman

Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake. - Henry David Thoreau

There is a time for words and a time for sleep. - Homer

Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera. - James Stephens

Follow your dreams. Just make sure to have fun too. - Chris Brown

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. - J K Rowling

If you want your dreams to come true, don't sleep. - Yiddish Proverb

All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream. - Edgar Allen Poe

Whatever the world finds pleasing, is but a brief dream. - Petrarch

It is so easy to be solemn; it is so hard to be frivolous. - G K Chesterton

A man is not old until his regrets take the place of dreams. - Yiddish proverb

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone. - Anthony Burgess

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours. - Arthur Baer

You can change your beliefs so they empower your dreams and desires. - Marcia Wieder

Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears. - Les Brown

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact. - Bertrand Russell

At first, dreams seem impossible, then improbable, and eventually inevitable. - Christopher Reeve

It is easy to get a thousand prescriptions but hard to get one single remedy. - Chinese Proverb

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible. - Margaret Mead

If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up. - J.M. Power

Death had to take him in his sleep, for if he was awake there'd have been a fight. - Theodore Roosevelt

A skillful man reads his dreams for self-knowledge, yet not the details but the quality. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same. - Stendhal

I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep. I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion. - Alexander the Great

It is not hard to compose, but what is fabulously hard is to leave the superfluous notes under the table. - Johannes Brahms

A man can do only what a man can do. But if he does that each day, he can sleep at night and do it again the next day. - Albert Schweitzer

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

If we hope for what we are not likely to possess, we act and think in vain, and make life a greater dream and shadow than it really is. - Joseph Addison

The greatest thing about man is his ability to transcend himself, his ancestry and his environment and to become what he dreams of being. - Tully C. Knoles

Those who succeed have a clear, focused picture of their success. The level of success they attain matches the expansiveness of their dreams. - Marc Allen

There are two ways you can get through pain. You can let it destroy you, or you can use it as fuel to drive you: to dream bigger, to work harder. - Taylor Swift

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren


Pirate Vacation

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Redneck Spaghetti

Wild Game Nutrition Guide

Alaska Gas

Definition Of A Good Friend

Redneck Car Repair

Self-Propelled Rocket

Pole Clock

Donut Holes

Insect Food Fight

Living At C Level

Little Johnny Bath

Emergency Stops Only

Portable Balance Beam

Fried Eggs - Military Style

Motorvation

Teenage Mutant Ninja Hay Bail

Driving Rain

Eddie Reward

Got Them All

Owlvis Presley

Motorcycle Limo

Runaway Tree