#1 humor site on the 'net

Pittsburghese

Learning a new language in Pennsylvania

Pittsburghese thanks to Jim Currey

Word definitions for a happy Pittsburghonian

Pittsburghese thanks to Jim Currey

QuotaBills
Kind words cost nothing. - Unknown

Your face is a household word. - Archie Bunker

Where words fail, music speaks. - Hans Christian Anderson

Never lose a chance of saying a kind word. - William Thackeray

The best of us must sometimes eat our words. - J K Rowling

A wise man hears one word and understands two. - Yiddish

Be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only. - James 1:22

Heresy is another word for freedom of thought. - Graham Greene

The best way to keep one's word is not to give it. - Napoleon Bonaparte

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. - John Barrymore

Words were not given to man in order to conceal his thoughts. - Jose Saramago

If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know? - Steven Wright

Can words describe the fragrance of the very breath of spring? - Neltje Blanchan

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

Don't listen to their words, fix your attention on their deeds. - Albert Einstein

The three words every woman really longs to hear: I'll clean up. - Molly Shannon

Never settle with words what you can accomplish with a flamethrower. - Bruce Feirstein

Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Dance isn't something that can be explained in words; it has to be danced. - Paige Arden

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

The number one job facing the middle class... a three-letter word, jobs, J-O-B-S. - Joe Biden

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of. - Burt Bacharach

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it? - George Carlin

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

The promise given was a necessity of the past: the word broken is a necessity of the present. - Niccolo Machiavelli

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? - Phyllis Diller

Flour and butter, cream and sugar, words and images - all the ingredients for a rich, tasty story. - Rona Simmons

Your words carry amazing power. So when you speak, make sure you uplift someone and never put them down. - Unknown

Never marvel at the strength of a man's words, but rather by the determination and truthfulness of his actions. - Unknown

This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw

The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenements halls and whispered in the sounds of silence. - Paul Simon

My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them. - Steven Wright

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

There are three words I like to repeat to myself: glass half full. Just to remind myself to be grateful for everything I have. - Goldie Hawn

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

Each one must learn for himself the highest wisdom. It cannot be taught in words. Men who work cannot dream, and wisdom comes to us in dreams. - Smohalla

In the revolt against idealism, the ambiguities of the word experience have been perceived, with the result that realists have more and more avoided the word. - Bertrand Russell

If you really care about Charlotte, don't be afraid to tell her. Believe me, it will hurt her a lot more not hearing the words than it will hurt you to say them. - J.S. Goldstine

If words are to enter men's minds and bear fruit, they must be the right words shaped cunningly to pass men's defenses and explode silently and effectually within their minds. - J.B. Philips


How Paper Beats Rock

Joburg Police

Behind Curtain Number One

One More Drop

Changing Priorities

Made His Bed

Dog Sled

Only In Canada - Nosey Moose

Camper Tank

Plane Pushers

Wise Electricity Use

Critter Control

Redneck Ice Fishing

Skeletons In The Closet

Captive Audience Twins

Brew Table

Nailed It Baby

Water Supply

Holding His Own Portraits

Hawaii Scuba Bus

Chicken Pie

Computer Challenged

Swiss Reaper

Original Play Station