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Redneck Bass Tape Measure

How Bubba measures his fish catch

Redneck Bass Tape Measure thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn

Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver. - Unknown

Fish and visitors stink after three days. - Benjamin Franklin

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Love is the net where hearts are caught like fish. - Muhammad Ali

You can't fix stupid - not even with duct tape. - Unknown

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister. - Phyllis Diller

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker

It's not the size of the man in the fight, but the size of the fight in the man. - Unknown

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn't have a fish market. - Archie Bunker

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

Size isn't everything. The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine. - Bill Vaughan

I'd have thrashed him to within an inch of his life, but I didn't have a tape measure. - Groucho Marx

By the time I taught myself the bass guitar at the age of 14, my hands were already pretty nimble. - John Entwistle

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos

Our ideas, like orange-plants, spread out in proportion to the size of the box which imprisons the roots. - Edward Bulwer Lytton

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

If you want to make a permanent change, stop focusing on the size of your problems and start focusing on the size of you. - T. Harv Eker

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

I've never believed in measuring one's worth by the size of his or her bank account. I prefer to look at distance traveled. - Dan Rather

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


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