#1 humor site on the 'net

Roo With No Respect

What's it doing with a foreign beer?

Roo With No Respect thanks to Howard Chapman

Roo With No Respect thanks to Howard Chapman

QuotaBills
In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

The world can't end today, because it's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

When New Zealanders emigrate to Australia, it raises the average IQ of both countries. - Robert Muldoon

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

I liked the koala, wallaby, and I chilled with a kangaroo a bit. There was a wombat that I quite enjoyed also. - Todd Barry

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - the Joe-kster


One At A Time

Life And Beer Are Very Similar

Redneck Speed Bump

Studley Tool Chest

Shopping With Your Husband

PEI Weather

Math Lab Bust

Political Floor

Redneck Winter Tires

Fish Fingers

Costco Beach Towel

Handwritting

Down Under Statue

Random Acts Of Kindness (RAK) Day

Detroit Discovery

Spit Priorities

Enjoy The View

Locks Of Love

So You Want A Day Off

Save A Tree

Dr. Hedgehog

Flower Frame Heels

I'll Be Right There

Frankfurt Subway Entrance