#1 humor site on the 'net

Round Table

Medieval guests observing the knight shift

Round Table thanks to Dave Loewen

Knights of the Round Table on Crusade Circle duty

Puns since the Middle Ages
QuotaBills
Lose your cool - play the fool. - W. Andrew Welker

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

My neighbor has a circular driveway - he can't get out. - Steven Wright

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. - Emma Goldman

Individuals who act too 'cool' often freeze under pressure. - Unknown

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table is ready." - Robin Williams

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

It's not so much how good a player you are, it's how cool you are. - Slash

Thirteen at a table is unlucky only when the hostess has only twelve chops. - Groucho Marx

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are. - C S Lewis

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Insight comes, more often than not, from looking at what's been on the table all along. - David McCullough

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians, except for the occasional mountain lion steak. - Ted Nugent

Never rest contented with any circle of ideas, but always be certain that a wider one is still possible. - Pearl Bailey

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono

Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work. - Stephen King

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

When I was younger I did karate and martial arts, and I think it's really cool for girls to have those kinds of abilities. - Rebel Wilson

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

You need the kind of objectivity that makes you forget everything you've heard, clear the table, and do a factual study like a scientist would. - Steve Wozniak

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney

My Sweet Potato

Who Needs a Guard Dog?

My Next Life

Mouse Insider

Close Ups

Redneck Camera Phone

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Redneck Cupboard

Homeless Signs

Floor Store

Mary Go Round

City Beach Castle

Rescue Pup

Your Meal Is Ready

Bicycle Water Bottle Holder

iHat