#1 humor site on the 'net

Snake Shortener

How snakes take care of loose ends

Snake Shortener thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Read my lips: no new taxes. - George Bush

My own tax expert, H & R Crock. - Archie Bunker

No taxation without regimentation. - Archie Bunker

No taxation without representation. - Unknown

The current tax code is a daily mugging. - Ronald Reagan

You don't pay taxes - they take taxes. - Chris Rock

Taxation without representation is tyranny. - James Otis

I'm very strongly against tax increases. - Donald Trump

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems. - Romana Machado

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut. - Robin Williams

There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income. - Will Rogers

The hardest thing in the world to understand is income taxes. - Albert Einstein

I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged. - Roger Jones

'Tis impossible to be sure of any thing but death and taxes. - Christopher Bullock

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes. - Benjamin Franklin

The avoidance of taxes is the only pursuit that still carries any reward. - John Maynard Keynes

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. - Bill Vaughan

If you see a snake, just kill it - don't appoint a committee on snakes. - H. Ross Perot

Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes. - Will Rogers

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank? - Milton Berle

There's nothing like a two-hour tax appointment to make you question your career. - Shawn Hitchins

At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite so satisfying as an income tax refund. - Unknown

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. - WC Fields

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. - Will Rogers

I'm proud to be paying taxes. The only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money. - Arthur Godfrey

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers

The wisdom of man never yet contrived a system of taxation that would operate with perfect equality. - Andrew Jackson

I could juggle anything in my day: balls, cigar boxes, knives. But I could never juggle my income tax. - WC Fields

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical. - Thomas Jefferson

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes;
The wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year. - Ogden Nash

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. - Winston Churchill

I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes.
I hope they do get 'em lowered enough so people can afford to pay 'em. - Will Rogers


Scottish Haircut

The Definition Of Old

Redneck Pool Table

Clint Eastwood

Playing Through

Island Music

Arch Enemies

Firemen's Revenge

Pipeline Security

Gun Exhaust

Canadian Food Chain

Flintstone Drum Set

Bird Cage Illness

Grasping Shirt

Lip Clouds

Key Frame

Texas Office Chair

IKEA Food Size

It's A Cracker

Construction Clouds

Milk Conversion

Basketball Cake

Nintendo Auto Correct

Too Soon