#1 humor site on the 'net

You're Home Early

Don't go bacon my heart!

You're Home Early thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Sneaking bacon and beer in a clandestine muslim relationship

QuotaBills
Pork is my friend. - Tom Douglas

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

Either you like bacon or you're wrong. - Unknown

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

I have a great relationship with Roger Ailes. - Donald Trump

In Congress, it's all pork, all the time. - Jim Cooper

You can never put too much pork in your mouth. - Lewis Black

Synonym Bun: What a thesaurus eats for breakfast - Unknown

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper. - Sir Francis Bacon

I have a great relationship with the Mexican people. - Donald Trump

I'm such a foodie. If I see a pork chop, I'm eating it. - Josh Henderson

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. - Keanu Reeves

If you call ham "Canadian bacon", what do you call bacon? - Michael Kelso

Bacon's not the only thing that's cured by hanging from a string. - Hugh Kingsmill

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

Sometimes I've believed as many as six possible things before breakfast. - Lewis Caroll

When I was a kid, I used to think pork chops and karate chops were the same thing. - Shane Koyczan

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice: You can be right or you can be happy. - Ralphie May

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

'Jihad' can mean holy war to extremists, but it means struggle to the average Muslim. - Feisal Abdul Rauf

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin

Special day! Oh, what have I forgotten now? Now, don't panic. Is it Bacon Day? No, that’s crazy talk! - Homer

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop. - Winston Churchill

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Wine Gum Lamp

Stepladder Bike

Prison Escapee's Not-Quite-Clean Escape

Heh - That's My Ball!

Revenue Canada's Simplified Tax Form

Canadian Restroom Rules

Clever Man

Circular Residences - Roundabout Directions

Chicago Bears Win Stanley Cup

Loch-Risti Weather Forecasting Stone

Skateboarding Duck

Hospital Gown Insurance

Mobile Swamp Home

Spring Rolls

Circle Stroke Bikes

Sad TP

Concrete Guestrooms

Spiderman Face Cup

Tick, Tick Good Buddy

Waterfront Icons

Redneck Backhoe Operator

Shanty Town, New Zealand - Potty Pic

Modern Love Affair

Sleepmobile