#1 humor site on the 'net

Country Halloween

Harvest time on the farm

Country Halloween thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
I've made a career off of Halloween. - Cassandra Peterson

I take my vacation on the combine and tractor. - Jon Tester

My only career goal is to be a Halloween icon. - Nuno Roque

Maybe I should just go home and ride my tractor. - Chuck Grassley

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. - Judy Gold

Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later. - Unknown

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Only the knife knows what goes on in the heart of a pumpkin. - Simone Schwarz-Bart

There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight. - Unknown

I drove a tractor almost as soon as I could reach the pedals. - Sheri L. Dew

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. - Unknown

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft

I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

This poor pumpkin gave in to rot,
and all that's left is pumpkin snot. - Shirley Thomas

My favorite word is 'pumpkin.' You are a pumpkin. Or you are not. I am. - Harrison E. Salisbury

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Striving for success without hard work is like trying to harvest where you haven't planted. - David Bly

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' - Drew Carey

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

I'm working on a second cookbook and am working on my love story, 'Black Heels to Tractor Wheels.' - Ree Drummond

I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

The farther we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween. - Paula Guran

Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask, while others finally feel safe to take theirs off. - Steve Maraboli

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek

Whatever moisture is left in the popcorn when it gets from harvest to bag to your popper is what's going to determine how well the corn pops. - Ken Kercheval

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien


Bathroom Privacy Screen

Canadian Food Chain

The New Supermarket

Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Deflategate

Chocolate Couch

No More Arguing

Darth Fiddler

Chinese Sudoku Puzzles B

Toemongous

Walking The Dog

Spaghetti Cooker

Sea Dog

How To Cook A Deer

How Cumulus Clouds Are Formed

Basketball Cake

Bobslide Event

Frozen Theater

2018 Rush Job Calendar

Chocolate Math for 2018

Moon Filament

Glass Prescription

Redneck House Cleaning

2fer Sudoku Puzzles E