#1 humor site on the 'net

Country Halloween

Harvest time on the farm

Country Halloween thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Forget Cutie, I'd rather be Pumpkin! - Unknown

I've made a career off of Halloween. - Cassandra Peterson

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

Plant smiles
Grow laughter
Harvest love - Unknown

Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. - Judy Gold

Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later. - Unknown

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Only the knife knows what goes on in the heart of a pumpkin. - Simone Schwarz-Bart

There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight. - Unknown

I drove a tractor almost as soon as I could reach the pedals. - Sheri L. Dew

The pumpkin is always oranger on the other side of the patch. - Unknown

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. - Unknown

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft

I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee

I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani

I'd rather sit alone on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion. - Henry David Thoreau

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

We used to go around tipping outhouses over, or turning over corn shocks on Halloween. Anything to be mean. - Loretta Lynn

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

I'm working on a second cookbook and am working on my love story, 'Black Heels to Tractor Wheels.' - Ree Drummond

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek

Whatever moisture is left in the popcorn when it gets from harvest to bag to your popper is what's going to determine how well the corn pops. - Ken Kercheval

All my life, I have been a celebrant of Halloween. For me, it is the most important day of the year, the turning point in the old pagan calendar. - John Burnside

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien


Bach Scratching

OCD Cookie Jar

Dwarf Plane Pull

Fire Truck

When Not To Stop Too Fast

Cruise Ship Trailer

Lunar Powered Sailing

Hawg'n The Road

Sea Painting

Crosswalk Climber

African Flip Flops

Lion In The Bathtub

Tiring Tire

Foot Wear

Zebra Keyboard

Until We Understand Women

Grizzly Shoot

Historic Texting

4x4 Kitchen Design

World's Largest Sudoku Puzzle

Water Hypnosis

Flu Fashion

Handicap Porch

Underwater Home