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Diet Utensils

Weight loss programs that are hard to handle

Diet Utensils thanks to Wayne Nowazek

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Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright


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