#1 humor site on the 'net

Do Must Marriage

Marriage advice from China

Do Must Marriage thanks to joe-kster

QuotaBills
Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

I look like I'm Chinese or Thai or Japanese - very different. - Mary Kom

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man is often too young to marry, but a man is never too old to love. - Finnish Proverb

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

Getting married is easy. Staying married is more difficult. Staying happily married for a lifetime should rank among the fine arts. - Roberta Flack

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

I deal with foreign countries. I made a lot of money dealing against China. I've made a lot of money dealing against many other countries. - Donald Trump

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


Abbreviated Beetle

Glass Prescription

Log Out - Here It Comes!

Roo Paper

Pool Fashion

Look At It This Way

Starbucks Bethlehem

Redneck House Cleaning

Book Perspective

Grandma's Controller

Tire Rotation

Grand Prix Roller Blades

Son Shine

BachScratcher

Under Control

Straightjacket Fashion

Husband Parking

Why Stand In Line?

Weight Watchers Bus

Bread Pitt

Redneck Hayride

How To Reduce Complaints at Work

Corset Bound

Bike Trike