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Elephant Instructions

How To manual for your newly purchased elephant

Elephant Instructions thanks to Wayne Nowazek

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College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost

Never read a book that is not a year old. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Governments never learn. Only people learn. - Milton Friedman

Why don't you write books people can read? - Nora Joyce

Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown

The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. - John Powell

I realized my mission in life was to learn more, not earn more. - Surya Das

There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm. - Willa Cather

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

A man must learn to endure patiently what he cannot avoid conveniently. - Michel de Montaigne

You could listen to Woody Guthrie songs and actually learn how to live. - Bob Dylan

We're all learning here; the best listeners will end up the smartest. - Charlene Li

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon. - Charles M. Schulz

As I grow to understand life less and less, I learn to love it more and more. - Jules Renard

I read the book of Job last night. I don't think God comes out well in it. - Virginia Woolf

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer. - William S. Burroughs

Sometimes when learning comes before experience it doesn't make sense right away. - Richard David Bach

The more you learn about the dignity of the gorilla, the more you want to avoid people. - Dian Fossey

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. - Mark Twain

If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all. - Oscar Wilde

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

Reading is a means of thinking with another person's mind; it forces you to stretch your own. - Charles Scribner

I think every day is Groundhog's Day. I get to learn from my mistakes and be better every day. - Ashton Kutcher

We read that we ought to forgive our enemies; but we do not read that we ought to forgive our friends. - Cosimo de Medici

Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen. - John Steinbeck

If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you. - Zig Ziglar

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

To try and fail is at least to learn. To fail to try is to suffer the inestimable loss of what might have been. - Chester Bernard

The greatest men sometimes overshoot themselves, but then their very mistakes are so many lessons of instruction. - Tom Browne

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx

Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

NASA scientists have been studying giraffe skin so they can apply what they learn from it to the construction of spacesuits. - Joanna Lumley

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty

I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. - Steven Wright

Do not train boys to learning by force and harshness, but lead them by what amuses them, so that they may better discover the bent of their minds. - Plato

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen


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