#1 humor site on the 'net

First Dodge Ram

Rare photo of Wilbur transporting his new lawn cutting machine

First Dodge Ram thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
History is written by the victors. - Niccolo Machiavelli

To finish first, you must first finish. - Rick Mears

Nothing happens unless at first a dream. - Carl Sandburg

What is history but a fable agreed upon? - Napoleon Bonaparte

Second place is just the first place loser. - Dale Earnhardt

Each time history repeats itself, the price goes up. - Ronald Wright

History will never accept difficulties as an excuse. - John F Kennedy

First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak. - Epictetus

If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment. - Harry Banks

I'm just the smallest dot in a big map of human history. - Ben Casnocha

Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings. - Dr. Samuel Johnson

I know love at first sight can work. It happened to my parents. - George Clooney

If you want to keep your memories, you first have to live them. - Bob Dylan

A people without history is like the wind on the buffalo grass. - Lakota Sioux Proverb

Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or a nation. - Oscar Wilde

I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past. - Thomas Jefferson

First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do. - Epictetus

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. - Mahatma Gandhi

The dark night was the first book of poetry, and the constellations were the poems. - Chet Raymo

All my life I've looked at words as though I were seeing them for the first time. - Ernest Hemingway

Don't stop at the first obstacle; have endurance to keep on going and you will succeed. - Robert A. Schuller

To demand more of yourself than you do of others is the first step on any ladder of success. - Unknown

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Italy, and the spring and first love all together should suffice to make the gloomiest person happy. - Bertrand Russell

There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good. - Stephen Colbert

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is God's Gift. That's why we call it the 'Present.' - Bill Keane

Ninety-nine percent of the world's lovers are not with their first choice. That's what makes the jukebox play. - Willie Nelson

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

You can only learn from the second-raters. The first-raters are out of range; you can't see how they get their effects. - Unknown

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

Street League Skateboarding is the premier professional skateboarding league in the world, with the biggest prize money in history. - Rob Dyrdek

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost

It reminds me why I chose Dauntless in the first place: not because they are perfect, but because they are alive. Because they are free. - Veronica Roth

He's ... probably the greatest corporate leader in the history of a major company... Somebody like that would be absolutely incredible. - Donald Trump

History has repeatedly been changed by people who had the desire and the ability to transfer their convictions and emotions to their listeners. - Dale Carnegie


Alaska Gas

Definition Of A Good Friend

Redneck Car Repair

Self-Propelled Rocket

Pole Clock

Donut Holes

Insect Food Fight

Living At C Level

Little Johnny Bath

Emergency Stops Only

Portable Balance Beam

Fried Eggs - Military Style

Motorvation

Teenage Mutant Ninja Hay Bail

Driving Rain

Eddie Reward

Got Them All

Owlvis Presley

Motorcycle Limo

Runaway Tree

Human Explosion

Air Force Pilots

See You Later

Lunch Admirers