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Flat Tire Repair

Redneck on a roll

Flat Tire Repair thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Power tires only those who do not have it. - Giulio Andreotti

I xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare. - Steven Wright

Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. - Will Rogers

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The squeaky wheel may get the most oil, but it's also the first to be replaced. - Marilyn Vos Savant

Intelligence is like a 4 wheel drive - it allows you to get stuck in more remote places. - Garrison Keillor

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, and he who has one enemy shall meet him everywhere. - Ali ibn-Abi-Talib

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

I'm working on a second cookbook and am working on my love story, 'Black Heels to Tractor Wheels.' - Ree Drummond

Service is the rent we pay for being. It is the very purpose of life, and not something you do in your spare time. - Marion Wright Edelman

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

I can change a diaper in 30 seconds flat. I set the new one beneath the old one. That way, it's just wipe and pull the flap over. - Drew Brees

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


Flower Lips

Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Old Traffic Jam

Sudoku Sampler B

Cold Corners

Leaning Straight

Burqa Ban

Steak Sale

Same Mistake Twice

Redneck Flu Shot

Coveted Car

A Balanced Diet

Rainbow Road

Equal Rights Church

British League of Pessimists

Bacon Munchies

Poutine Pizza

Daily Trivia E

Kangaroo On Ice

No-Lake Picture

Everywhere Bird

Chair Spin Day

Duck Gears

Tree Dragon