Grandma Needs Help

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

He's breaking his grandpa's sacrolificat. - Archie Bunker

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

Many will show you the way once your cart has overturned. - Turkish Proverb

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Homer Simpson

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda