#1 humor site on the 'net

I Can't Hear You

Hearing through the noise behind you

I Can't Hear You thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Boy: a noise with dirt on it. - Unknown

Hear the meaning within the word. - William Shakespeare

Who the hell wants to hear actors talk? - H.M. Warner

I hear the tusks are looser in Alabama. - WC Fields

I definitely can hear my toenails grow. - Gary Busey

Nowadays men lead lives of noisy desperation. - James Thurber

The quieter you become, the more you can hear. - Ram Dass

To watch us dance is to hear our hearts speak. - Indian Proverb

The crow flew closer, as if to hear its praises. - Emma Donoghue

Don't play what's there - play what's not there. - Miles Davis

Noise is a buffer, more effective than cubicles or booth walls. - Margaret Heffernan

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. - Confucius

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

The art of conversation is the art of hearing as well as of being heard. - William Hazlitt

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear. - Dick Cavett

I love you with every cell, with every atom. I love you on a subatomic level. - Robin Williams

Ever hear of the old saying, "grass don't grow on a busy street?" - Archie Bunker

When one can hear people moving, one does not so much mind, about one's fears. - Ann Radcliffe

Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer. - Ed Cunningham

An idea not coupled with action will never get any bigger than the brain cell it occupied. - Arnold H. Glasow

The next time you hear a social media myth, question it. Ask for the proof, and ask out loud. - Dan Zarrella

If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively. - Mel Brooks

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling. - Rodney Dangerfield

What sounds to you like a big load of trashy noise... is in fact... the brilliant music of a genius... myself. - Iggy Pop

I hear much of people's calling out to punish the guilty, but very few are concerned to clear the innocent. - Daniel Defoe

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

Although you hadn't asked why, it had less to do with you not noticing than with you not wanting to hear the answer. - Jodi Picoult

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint," then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced. - Vincent Van Gogh

Did you hear about the auto worker who was offered a position as president of a bank but couldn't afford the pay cut? - Unknown

Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there. - Yakov Smirnoff

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

In Mexico, an air-conditioner is called a "politician" because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well. - Len Deighton

Did Lincoln apologize to Alexander Graham Booth? Did you ever hear of scruples? I think Boom Boom caught 'em from a Chinaman. - Archie Bunker

Carry your courage in an easily accessible place, the way you do your cellphone or your wallet. Courage is the ultimate career move. - Anna Quindlen

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

The talk you hear about adapting to change is not only stupid, it's dangerous. The only way you can manage change is to create it. - Peter F Drucker

You can't be afraid of getting old. Old is good, if you're gathering in life. Our band is good at understanding that equation. - Bruce Springsteen

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


Abbreviated Beetle

Glass Prescription

Log Out - Here It Comes!

Roo Paper

Pool Fashion

Look At It This Way

Starbucks Bethlehem

Redneck House Cleaning

Book Perspective

Grandma's Controller

Tire Rotation

Grand Prix Roller Blades

Son Shine

BachScratcher

Under Control

Straightjacket Fashion

Husband Parking

Why Stand In Line?

Weight Watchers Bus

Bread Pitt

Redneck Hayride

How To Reduce Complaints at Work

Corset Bound

Bike Trike