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If You're Happy And You Know It

Musical background for clamping your hams

If You're Happy And You Know It thanks to Wayne Nowazek

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Dinner is poured. - WC Fields

Pork is my friend. - Tom Douglas

Keep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown

Pulled pork jokes never get old. - Joel Edgerton

In Congress, it's all pork, all the time. - Jim Cooper

You can never put too much pork in your mouth. - Lewis Black

If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner. - H.S. Leigh

I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach. - WC Fields

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

My favorite thing to make for dinner is reservations. - Unknown

He that waits upon fortune is never sure of a dinner. - Benjamin Franklin

Mmmm, pork chops and bacon... my two favorite animals. - Homer Simpson

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

We're eating dinner soon. Don't fill up on homework. - Alex Baze

Cogito ergo dim sum. (Therefore I think these are pork buns) - Robert Byrne

I'm kosher except for times where I eat pork and shellfish. - Roseanne Barr

I'm such a foodie. If I see a pork chop, I'm eating it. - Josh Henderson

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

If you call ham "Canadian bacon", what do you call bacon? - Michael Kelso

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

I'm carrying so much pork, I'm beginning to get trichinosis. - Phil Gramm

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations. - Oscar Wilde

Dinner and a movie? Forget that. I'd rather have a picnic and a waterfall. - Amanda Grace

When I was a kid, I used to think pork chops and karate chops were the same thing. - Shane Koyczan

I am guilty of asking the Senate for pork and proud of the Senate for giving it to me. - Ted Stevens

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. - James Bovard

The truly free man is the one who will turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse. - Jules Renard

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. - H L Mencken

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

The pig is not just pork chops and bacon and ham to us. The pig is a co-laborer in this great land-healing ministry. - Joel Salatin

I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner. - WC Fields

It is very vulgar to talk about one's business. Only people like stockbrokers do that, and then merely at dinner parties. - Oscar Wilde

In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma

He who cannot eat horsemeat need not do so. Let him eat pork. But he who cannot eat pork, let him eat horsemeat. It's simply a question of taste. - Nikita Khrushchev


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