#1 humor site on the 'net

If You're Happy And You Know It

Musical background for clamping your hams

If You're Happy And You Know It thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Dinner is poured. - WC Fields

Pork is my friend. - Tom Douglas

Keep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown

Pulled pork jokes never get old. - Joel Edgerton

In Congress, it's all pork, all the time. - Jim Cooper

You can never put too much pork in your mouth. - Lewis Black

Ike runs the country, and I turn the pork chops. - Mamie Eisenhower

If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner. - H.S. Leigh

My favorite thing to make for dinner is reservations. - Unknown

When I was a kid everyone used to call me pork 'n. - Michael Biehn

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

We're eating dinner soon. Don't fill up on homework. - Alex Baze

Cogito ergo dim sum. (Therefore I think these are pork buns) - Robert Byrne

I'm kosher except for times where I eat pork and shellfish. - Roseanne Barr

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

I'm carrying so much pork, I'm beginning to get trichinosis. - Phil Gramm

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. - Adelle Davis

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations. - Oscar Wilde

Dinner and a movie? Forget that. I'd rather have a picnic and a waterfall. - Amanda Grace

When I was a kid, I used to think pork chops and karate chops were the same thing. - Shane Koyczan

I am guilty of asking the Senate for pork and proud of the Senate for giving it to me. - Ted Stevens

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. - H L Mencken

I'm into all that sappy stuff - a surprise picnic, nice dinner, or traveling. I'm kind of an old romantic. - Will Estes

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner. - WC Fields

In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson

This is what I grew up on in Alsace. It's choucroute. I'd wake up every morning with the smell of cabbage and potatoes and pork. - Jean-Georges Vongerichten

He who cannot eat horsemeat need not do so. Let him eat pork. But he who cannot eat pork, let him eat horsemeat. It's simply a question of taste. - Nikita Khrushchev


Two Meals In One

Moses Tea

Daily Inspiration

Ford Door Lock

Found The Jackpot

2fer Sudoku Puzzles C

DiscourageMeant

Bear's Submarine Patrol

Cat Got Your Tail?

Slingshot Shoes

Redneck Seafood Dinner

Emergency Bridge Repair Team

Balanced Meal

Canadian Car Crash

Florida Car Alarm

Dog Lookout

India Road Assistance

ZipHer

Samurai Sudoku Puzzles C

Lucky Calf

Moose Camouflage

Nail Polish Lookalilikes

Douglas Fir Log Home

Nutcracker Suite - Chinese Version