#1 humor site on the 'net

Nice Try, China

Heavy Dtuy Wrench

Nice Try, China thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Wrenching products in the global marketplace

QuotaBills
Literature is news that stays news. - Ezra Pound

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

A clever man commits no minor blunders. - Goethe

Clever men are good, but they are not the best. - Thomas Carlyle

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. - Liz Smith

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

The Republic of China - back in the Olympic Games for the first time. - David Coleman

For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news. - Gloria Borger

No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. - Oscar Wilde

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic. - Winston Churchill

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

Like a bull into a china closet. Like in that picture, "The Prince and The Porpoise." - Archie Bunker

The everyday kindness of the back roads more than makes up for the acts of greed in the headlines. - Charles Kuralt

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening", and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. - Unknown

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

Living in China has made me appreciate my own country, with its tiny, ethnically diverse population of unassuming donut-eaters. - Jan Wong

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

As you've noticed, people don't want to be sold. What people do want is news and information about the things they care about. - Larry Weber

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters. One represents danger, and the other represents opportunity. - John F Kennedy


Bridge Claimed Another One

Woman-Riding Man

Thin Polar Bear

Hand Tool

Rainbow Beer

They Found Your Balls

Giraffe Pet

Hard Working Cop

Cattle Herding in Africa

Dutch Cowboy

How Bachelors Kill Moths

Tonsil Ring

Portrait Gallery

Piano Dog

The Art Of Politics

Martini Shirt

American Mustache

Wedding Room Dress

Redneck TP

Big Bird Feeder

City Work Crew's Slow Day

Cow Trampoline

Suspicious Blood Donor

Friends In High Places