#1 humor site on the 'net

Rabbit Boost

Lending a little one's helping hands

Rabbit Boost thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

A child is a curly dimpled lunatic. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love children if they're cooked properly. - WC Fields

The man who has a full set of tools has no children. - Unknown

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy. - Robert H. Heinlein

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

As long as you know men are like children, you know everything. - Coco Chanel

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

As a child, the only clear thought I had was "Get candy." - Jerry Seinfeld

If we don't stand up for children, then we don't stand for much. - Marian W. Edelman

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. - David Brenner

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. - Robert Benchley

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

I'm like the kid in kindergarten; I really do send valentines to everyone. - Susie Bright

Children are paparazzi. They take your picture when you don't want them to. - Jamie Lee Curtis

Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child. - Ron Wild

Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed. - Don Rickles

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

Children are not a distraction for more important work. They are the most important work. - C S Lewis

The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children. - Unknown

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration and inspiration. - Evan Esar

There are only two lasting bequests we can give our children - one is roots, and the other, wings. - Hodding S. Carter

It is an act of love to say, "I believe in you as my child, and you don't need my help." - Peter Buffett

It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump

Our children may learn about heroes of the past. Our task is to make ourselves architects of the future. - Jomo Mzee Kenyatta

If a child, a spouse, a life partner, or a parent depends on you and your income, you need life insurance. - Suze Orman

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires. - Dorothy Parker

Whatever happened to a sense of idealism and embracing an idea that will help people and, in this case, children? - Rod Blagojevich

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. - Rodney Dangerfield

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings. - Ann Landers


Shoelusion

Almost Done

Swim Vacation

Foot Circle

Sumo Fault

Psychic Fair

Bread Dress

Cherry Picker

PMS Center

The Ass Family

Surf Lessons

Diet Water

Proof of Global Warming

Electricity Storage

Socket To Me

Snail Time

Segway Stroller

Wine Worms

Bear Surveillance

Move Over

Guard Roos

Rich Man's Hobby

Illusive Dice

Rainbow Eucalyptus Trees