Smoking In The Boy's Room

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

What happens in the hot tub stays in the hot tub. - Aussie Swimmer

Smoking means always having to say you're sorry. - Tom Ferguson

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

We must rekindle the fire of idealism in our society. - Joe Biden

If someone's lying, are their pants really on fire? - Jerry Seinfeld

Words are only painted fire; a book is the fire itself. - Mark Twain

Oh, that sound? I'm in the hot tub, reading a novel. - Jane Smiley

I never feel so much myself as when I'm in a hot bath. - Sylvia Plath

The inner fire is the most important thing mankind possesses. - Edith Sodergran

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly. - Eskimo Proverb

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. - Thomas Fuller

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. - Steven Wright

Hiring someone to write your autobiography is like hiring someone to take a bath for you. - Mae West

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

It was really strange to see all these apes standing around eating popcorn, smoking, wearing sunglasses. - Estella Warren

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

In case of fire, don't panic. Simply flee the building with the same reckless abandon that occurs each day at quitting time. - Don Delcourt

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong