Smoking In The Boy’s Room

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

If someone's lying, are their pants really on fire? - Jerry Seinfeld

Words are only painted fire; a book is the fire itself. - Mark Twain

Oh, that sound? I'm in the hot tub, reading a novel. - Jane Smiley

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes. - Abigail Van Buren

I never feel so much myself as when I'm in a hot bath. - Sylvia Plath

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly. - Eskimo Proverb

Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. - Thomas Fuller

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

This momentous question, like a fire bell in the night, awakened and filled me with terror. - Thomas Jefferson

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. - Mark Twain

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly. - Stephen R. Covey

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love. - William Shakespeare

In case of fire, don't panic. Simply flee the building with the same reckless abandon that occurs each day at quitting time. - Don Delcourt

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

I definitely believe marijuana helps with menstruation. Since I started smoking pot, my girlfriend’s period has become painless for me. - Randy Kagan

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash

Well, yes, I've fired a lot of people. Generally I like other people to fire, because it's always a lousy task. But I have fired many people. - Donald Trump