#1 humor site on the 'net

Texas 4 Months Apart

French Street under seige

Texas 4 Months Apart thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

You bring your own weather to the picnic. - Harlan Coben

You can always tell a Texan, but not much. - Unknown

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. - Charles Dudley Warner

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it. - Amelia Barr

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

The pleasure of jogging and running is rather like that of wearing a fur coat in Texas in August: the true joy comes in being able to take the damn thing off. - Joseph Epstein

If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams


Duck Crossing

East Coast Winter Graffiti

Politician Plane

How To Argue With A Woman

Patio Losers

Wings Fans Are Ruthless

Temple Car

Netherlands Parking Lot

Model T Snowmobile

Tulip Snowpath

New Audi

Tower of Hammocks

Family Birthday Reminder

Dead Batteries

Ostrich Bush

Tetris Cake

T-Rex Shadow

Ordnance Table

Wine Bibber

Redneck Wireless Selfie

Tylenol Ban

GoosePrints

Louisiana Potholes

Cheers!