#1 humor site on the 'net

Three Cats Ago

Going back many years ago when you were normal

Three Cats Ago thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
You gotta be kitten me. - Unknown

Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago. I shot my broker. - Groucho Marx

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

I got something important here to read and sign and I gotta consecrate on that. - Archie Bunker

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

Years ago, I predicted that Iran would take over Iraq. Iran and Iraq used to fight back and forth. - Donald Trump

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts. - Hermione Gingold

Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket. - Groucho Marx

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Calvin

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

No sign of pleasure greeted the announcement. The mood in the hall was leaden.
My mood was livelier. Fright is livelier than lead. - Gail Carson Levine

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

A mere 40 years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. No bureaucrat would have invented it, and that's what freedom is all about. - Newt Gingrich

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


Lunch Break

Wash Day On The Farm

High Tide Heels

Frozen Fish Meal

Stork Exhaust

I 'Saw' An Accident

Protractor Cook

Street Genius

Rebar Walker

No Worries

Road To Success

Politician Training

Math in Africa

Customers Wanted

Sock Storage

Hung Out To Dry

Need More Horsepower?

Japanese Diving Platform

Water Taxi

Wrench Family

How To Burn Fat

Ghetto Boat

Car Surgeon

Just Blew It