#1 humor site on the 'net

Too Soon

Meeting a man ahead of his time in Hong Kong

Too Soon thanks to joe-kster

Punctuality - where timing is everything

QuotaBills
I'm an early-morning owl. - Patrick Wilson

The darkest hour has only sixty minutes. - Morris Mandel

I must confess, I was born at a very early age. - Groucho Marx

Buy low, sell high, collect early, and pay late. - Dick Levin

Better three hours too soon than a minute too late. - William Shakespeare

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. - Unknown

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. - Milton Berle

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and advertise. - Ted Turner

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

A committee is a group that takes minutes and wastes hours. - Unknown

Dancing is like bank robbery - it takes split second timing. - Twyla Tharp

No man goes before his time ... unless the boss leaves early. - Groucho Marx

There are half hours that dilate to the importance of centuries. - Mary Catherwood

It isn't the hours you put in, but what you put IN the hours. - Unknown

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. - Jerome K. Jerome

On average it takes 10,000 hours of practice to truly master a skill. - Malcolm Gladwell

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate. - Phyllis Diller

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

Our waking hours form the text of our lives, our dreams, the commentary. - Unknown

Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. - Jean-Paul Sartre

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes. - Oscar Wilde

A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is the greatest practical benefit in making a few failures early in life. - Thomas Henry Huxley

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - Marsha Doble

Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. - Chinese Proverb

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

Early on, if I was alone two or three nights in a row, I'd start writing poems about suicide. - Jack Nicholson

Sunsets are great. Sunrises are a mixed bag. You either got up way too early or went to bed way too late. - Matt Dillon

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland

I don't get off on romantic parts. But I often think if I had had my dental work done early on, well, maybe. - Morgan Freeman

In the early years, you fight because you don't understand each other. In later years, you fight because you do. - Joan Didion

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours. - Milton Berle

Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower. - Elayne Boosler

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

No one has timing like Milton Berle. He has absolutely the finest timing of any comedian in the business. There's no one like him. - Sid Caesar


Redneck Ladder

Home Depot Delivery

Taco Bell Secret Seasoning

Are You OK?

Downchuck

Rickshaw Workout

Tenacity

Annual Meeting of Women Drivers

Bach Flip

Alien Smuggling

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Teamwork

Sorry

Dunking Straw

Vatican Chess

Boot Camp

Hold On, Let Me Catch The Ball

Big Hands Baby

Fire Truck Sinkhole

Cyclist Mailbox

Tearable Puns

Penmanship

Tree Removal

I Sea Drums