#1 humor site on the 'net

Vacation Time For Kids

Going on a holiday without the computer

Vacation Time For Kids thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

I took the initiative in creating the internet. - Al Gore

When I was a kid everyone used to call me pork 'n. - Michael Biehn

Any kid will run any errand for you if you ask at bedtime. - Red Skelton

The secret of success is to make your vocation your vacation. - Mark Twain

I wanted to be an atheist, but I gave up. They have no holidays. - Henny Youngman

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. - Rodney Dangerfield

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

As a kid, I got three meals a day. Oatmeal, miss-a-meal and no meal. - Mr. T

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. - George Burns

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

No kid is unsmart. Every kid's a genius at something. Our job is to find it. And then encourage it. - Robin Sharma

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett

I don't like creating software anymore. It's too exact. It's like karate; there's no room for error. - John Maeda

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

For the past 10 years, corporations have been trained that they should use all the different media. But the Internet is becoming the umbrella. - Larry Weber


Home Depot Delivery

Taco Bell Secret Seasoning

Are You OK?

Downchuck

Rickshaw Workout

Tenacity

Annual Meeting of Women Drivers

Bach Flip

Alien Smuggling

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Teamwork

Sorry

Dunking Straw

Vatican Chess

Boot Camp

Hold On, Let Me Catch The Ball

Big Hands Baby

Fire Truck Sinkhole

Cyclist Mailbox

Tearable Puns

Penmanship

Tree Removal

I Sea Drums

Statue of Libertea