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Catch Up With Jesus

Lettuce praise and relish him

Catch Up With Jesus thanks to Ken Ward

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I am an atheist... thank God. - Dave Allen

God has always been hard on the poor. - Jean Paul Marat

Faith is believing what you know ain't so. - Mark Twain

The atheist religion don't believe in the bible. - Archie Bunker

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

The day before me is fraught with God knows what horrors. - John Kennedy Toole

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. - Albert Einstein

We come not to mourn our dead soldiers, but to praise them. - Francis A Walker

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us air tickets. - Mel Brooks

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. - Voltaire

Praise is the only gift for which people are really grateful. - Marguerite

There lives more faith in honest doubt than in half the creeds. - Alfred Lord Tennyson

Don't they get afraid, then?
They have a religion for that. - Ray Bradbury

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

I found a country [America] with thirty-two religions and only one sauce. - Charles-Maurice de Talleyrand-Perogord

If there's one thing I know, it's that God does love a good joe-k. - Hugh Elliott

It's not dying for faith that's so hard, it's living up to it. - William Makepeace Thackeray

The silence of a man who loves to praise is a censure sufficiently severe. - Charlotte Lennox

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

If God gets sore enough at you Edith, he could turn your jawbone into an ass. - Archie Bunker

Never, never, never join a movement that persecutes people because of their faith. - Adrian Rodgers

You must live with people to know their problems, and live with God in order to solve them. - P.T. Forsyth

I always distrust people who know so much about what God wants them to do to their fellows. - Susan B Anthony

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown

I love these little people; and it is not a slight thing when they, who are so fresh from God, love us. - Charles Dickens

Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want. It is the belief that God will do what is right. - Max Lucado

The past is a source of knowledge, and the future is a source of hope. Love of the past implies faith in the future. - Stephen Ambrose

If there be a God, I think that what he would like me to do is paint as much of the map of Africa British red as possible. - Cecil Rhodes

If God would have wanted us to live in a permissive society He would have given us Ten Suggestions and not Ten Commandments. - Zig Ziglar

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

God is dead: but considering the state the species Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy

Be yourself no matter what other people think. God made you the way you are for a reason. Besides, an original is always worth more than a copy! - Unknown

To say that authority, whether secular or religious, supplies no ground for morality is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction. - Joseph Addison


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