#1 humor site on the 'net

Catch Up With Jesus

Lettuce praise and relish him

Catch Up With Jesus thanks to Ken Ward

QuotaBills
My true religion is Kindness. - Dalai Lama

God is like a skilful Geometrician. - Sir Thomas Browne

I did my best, and God did the rest. - Hattie McDaniel

God has always been hard on the poor. - Jean Paul Marat

God created man, but I could do better. - Erma Bombeck

Call on God, but row away from the rocks. - Indian Proverb

Praise the ripe field, not the green corn. - Unknown

In a democracy, dissent is an act of faith. - J. William Fulbright

The Pope, I hope, can only be scared by God. - Donald Trump

Jesus was a hiker. The wilderness was His retreat. - Toni Sorenson

People ask for criticism, but they only want praise. - W Somerset Maugham

Enthusiasm is a kind of faith that has been set afire. - George Matthew Adams

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. - Woody Allen

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown

I am the vessel. The draft is God's. And God is the thirsty one. - Dag Hammarskjold

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

Our faith in the present dies out long before our faith in the future. - Ruth Benedict

Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille

Kind hearts are more than coronets
An simple faith than Norman blood. - Alfred Lord Tennyson

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

If you want to be successful, just meditate, man. God will tell you what people need. - Carlos Santana

The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence. - Bertrand Russell

Only priests and fools are fearless and I've never been on the best of terms with God. - Patrick Rothfuss

It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us. - Peter De Vries

Open your eyes that you might see that all things are possible through you (with God's help). - Robert A. Schuller

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread. - Mahatma Gandhi

The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet. - Frederick Buechner

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

The task of organized religion is not to prove that God was in the 1st century, but that he is in the 20th. - S.H. Miller

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is God's Gift. That's why we call it the 'Present.' - Bill Keane

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, yet still we go forward. Because we trust. Because we have Faith. - Paulo Coelho

I don't like to write like God. It is only because you never do it, though, that the critics think you can't do it. - Ernest Hemingway

The meme for blind faith secures its own perpetuation by the simple unconscious expedient of discouraging rational inquiry. - Richard Dawkins

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Be yourself no matter what other people think. God made you the way you are for a reason. Besides, an original is always worth more than a copy! - Unknown

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. - Norman Vincent Peale

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. - Spike Milligan


Dentist Bowling

Maybe Shame Will Stop Her

Penalty Shot

Puppy Taco

On The Edge

Laptop Cooler

Bruce Lee Coffee

Stealth Cat

Fish Hawg

Bee Beard

Titanic Trailer

Porsche Bird Droppings

Foosball Maze

Brain Logic

Kickback - England

Preschool Parking

Look Daddy - Baby Kittens!

Big Ambitions

Mannequin Cello

Overloaded Bookshop

Bear Warning

Sinking Feeling

XL Safety Shoes

Colorectal Exam For Dogs