#1 humor site on the 'net

Good Woman Wanted

'Must Haves' include airplane and hangar

Good Woman Wanted thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
The woman that deliberates is lost. - Joseph Addison

Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde

Women want love to be a novel. Men, a short story. - Daphne du Maurier

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

All women are crazy, it's only a question of degree. - WC Fields

I love bringing roses to a woman when she least expects it. - Esai Morales

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire

She's loaded with this, waddya call, women's intermission. - Archie Bunker

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Our Air Corps reunion was held to rememmorate the great things we done. - Archie Bunker

I want to be a millionaire not for the money but for the woman I will become. - Jaime Tardy

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

Beauty is the first present nature gives to a woman and the first it takes away. - Fay Weldon

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned. - William Congreve

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. - Virginia Woolf

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

I am the astronaut of boxing. Joe Louis and Jack Dempsey were just jet pilots. I'm in a world of my own. - Muhammad Ali

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

Remember, we're fighting for this woman’s honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done! - Groucho Marx

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

Women are the most powerful magnet in the universe. And all men are cheap metal. And we all know where north is. - Larry Miller

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

We women know how to take care of everybody so well. But the one person we have written out of the equation is us. - Suze Orman

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know so it goes flying anyway. - Mary Kay Ash

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her worst fears would come true. - Jennifer Castle

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson


Cruise Ship Trailer

Lunar Powered Sailing

Hawg'n The Road

Sea Painting

Crosswalk Climber

African Flip Flops

Lion In The Bathtub

Tiring Tire

Foot Wear

Zebra Keyboard

Until We Understand Women

Grizzly Shoot

Historic Texting

4x4 Kitchen Design

World's Largest Sudoku Puzzle

Water Hypnosis

Flu Fashion

Handicap Porch

Underwater Home

Subway Solutions

Grass Room

Row Your Goat

Moment Just Before Being Soaked... @ T - 1

Bridge Claimed Another One