#1 humor site on the 'net

In Stitches

Does your Doctor have a good sense of humour?

In Stitches thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Humor is reason gone mad. - Groucho Marx

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Wit is the lowest form of humor. - Alexander Pope

Diabetes is caused by melancholy. - Thomas Willis

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. - Elaine Stritch

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. - Clive James

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter

Why do the best doctors have the sickest patients? - Unknown

One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker

A little perspective, like a little humor, goes a long way. - Allen Klein

A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. - Mignon McLaughlin

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself. - Doug Larson

The scariest person in the world is the person with no sense of humor. - Michael J. Fox

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Observation, Reason, Human Understanding, Courage; these make the physician. - Martin H. Fischer

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician. - William Cullen

You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance. - W Somerset Maugham

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

A psychiatrist is a man who goes to Les Folies Bergere and looks at the audience. - Mervyn Stockwood

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself. - Clifton Fadiman

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

Virus: a Latin word used by doctors to mean, "Your guess is as good as mine." - Unknown

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn? - Bob Hope

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts. - Sarah Silverman

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

You may not be able to change a situation, but with humor you can change your attitude about it. - Allen Klein

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude. - Don Rickles

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra

Companies need to lighten up and take themselves less seriously. They need to get a sense of humor. - Unknown

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to. - George Saunders

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

I've always been independent. I've always had courage. But I didn't always own my diabetes. - Mary Tyler Moore

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield

The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood. - Lou Holtz

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them. - Robert Benchley

You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon. - Eric Ericksen

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo

'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid

Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them. - Simon Wiesenthal

When humor works, it works because it's clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real. - Tina Fey

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

I realize that humor isn't for everyone. It's only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive. - Anne W. Schaef

The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. - Clive James

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is. - Horace Walpole

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles

I'm going to make people happy. I'm going to make them forget about their cancer. I'm going to make them forget about their diabetes. - Dick Dale


Loose Lips Sink Ships

Donkey Refill

Self Portrait for Squirrels

Coin Stacking

Hooking Penalty

Zebra Bus Stop

Best Friend Theft

Chewie, We're Home

Police Rides

Bird Smoker

Hot Mexican Deals

Coffin Escape

African Airlines

Who Let The Dogs Out?

Autographed Copy

Fresh Air Computing

Porpoise Pilots

Sorry Employees

Sidecar

Middle East Play House

Cadillac Clearance

Don't Believe Everything You Read

Bee Prepared

Stolen Car