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In Stitches

Does your Doctor have a good sense of humour?

In Stitches thanks to Wayne Nowazek

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I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts

Humor is reason gone mad. - Groucho Marx

Every disease is a physician. - Irish Proverb

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

Laughter is the best medicine. - the Joe-kster

I think I can wipe out diabetes. - Robert Atkins

Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. - Elaine Stritch

Puns are a form of humor with words. - Guillermo C. Infante

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

When humor goes, there goes civilization. - Erma Bombeck

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard

The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean

Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost

Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot. - Dutch Proverb

Why do the best doctors have the sickest patients? - Unknown

Humor is just another defense against the universe. - Mel Brooks

Humour is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility. - James Thurber

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humour section. - John Callahan

I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor. - Edward Albee

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn

In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it. - Fred Allen

The scariest person in the world is the person with no sense of humor. - Michael J. Fox

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it. - Langston Hughes

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams

What a strange world this would be if we all had the same sense of humor. - Bernard Williams

Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician. - William Cullen

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven. - Mark Twain

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

Humour is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. - Mary Hirsch

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill

I've learned to have a sense of humor about myself. Lord knows everyone else does! - Debbie Gibson

Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans

The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn? - Bob Hope

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you. - Langston Hughes

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

This I conceive to be the chemical function of humor: to change the character of our thought. - Lin Yutang

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts. - Sarah Silverman

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude. - Don Rickles

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road. - Henry Ward Beecher

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

With some diseases, like type 2 diabetes, if people get alerted early, they can take steps to avert getting sick. - Elizabeth Holmes

Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana. - Lana Turner

I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson

I realize that humor isn't for everyone. It's only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive. - Anne W. Schaef

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

Suspense is very important. Even though this is humor and they're short stories, that theory of building suspense is still there. - Sergio Aragones

When enough people care about autism or diabetes or global warming, it helps everyone, even if only a tiny fraction actively participate. - Seth Godin

I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. - James Thurber

I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

Humor is richly rewarding to the person who employs it. It has some value in gaining and holding attention, but it has no persuasive value at all. - John Kenneth Galbraith

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner


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