#1 humor site on the 'net

In Stitches

Does your Doctor have a good sense of humour?

In Stitches thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Diabetes taught me discipline. - Sonia Sotomayor

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Wit is the lowest form of humor. - Alexander Pope

I think I can wipe out diabetes. - Robert Atkins

Humor comes from self-confidence. - Rita Mae Brown

Diabetes is caused by melancholy. - Thomas Willis

When humor goes, there goes civilization. - Erma Bombeck

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool. - Arabic proverb

Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot. - Dutch Proverb

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter

One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

There are life-threatening issues related to diabetes. - Stephen Wallem

This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humour section. - John Callahan

A little perspective, like a little humor, goes a long way. - Allen Klein

I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor. - Edward Albee

In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. - Edward de Bono

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

The scariest person in the world is the person with no sense of humor. - Michael J. Fox

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society. - William Thackeray

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it. - Langston Hughes

What a strange world this would be if we all had the same sense of humor. - Bernard Williams

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humour. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance. - W Somerset Maugham

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

Humor is everywhere in that there's irony in just about anything a human does. - Bill Nye

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor. - Max Eastman

I want someone who can keep me on my toes, has a good sense of humor and a good heart. - Carmen Electra

Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans

The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I think superheroes are heroes with flaws, and in their flaws, there is a sense of humor. - Peter Segal

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. - Agnes Repplier

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you. - Langston Hughes

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to. - George Saunders

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me. - Chevy Chase

Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall. - Alan Bennett

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

I've always been independent. I've always had courage. But I didn't always own my diabetes. - Mary Tyler Moore

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield

The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood. - Lou Holtz

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Being diagnosed with diabetes can be a very scary thing, and it can easily make your life stand still for a moment. - Charlie Kimball

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

There's nothing like a gleam of humor to reassure you that a fellow human being is ticking inside a strange face. - Eva Hoffman

I have never understood why it should be considered derogatory to the Creator to suppose that he has a sense of humor. - Ralph Inge

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

From New Year's on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining. - Leonard Bernstein

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Trying to manage diabetes is hard because if you don't, there are consequences you'll have to deal with later in life. - Bryan Adams

The man with the real sense of humor is the man who can put himself in the spectator's place and laugh at his own misfortune. - Bert Williams

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is. - Horace Walpole

Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Suspense is very important. Even though this is humor and they're short stories, that theory of building suspense is still there. - Sergio Aragones

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

When enough people care about autism or diabetes or global warming, it helps everyone, even if only a tiny fraction actively participate. - Seth Godin

Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that's beautiful. - Rashida Jones

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner


Aussie Ford Coupe

Latte Defined

Anti-Bird Protection

Helping Hands In The Stands

Mouth Candy

Nose Hair? She needs a Barb-hair

Window Washers at a Children's Hospital

Spaghetti Digest

Ready Soon

iPhone Charger

Tube Travel

Redneck Tree Fort

OCD Guy

World's Tallest Bus

Long Liquor Store

Happy Wood Pig

On Top Of Things

Anail Retention

Bat Flight

The No Brainer

Truck Bender

Bacon Balls

Fast Closure

Ukrainian Feast