#1 humor site on the 'net

Say No To Gasoline

Irony or Hypocrisy?

Say No To Gasoline thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Hypocrisy is the lubricant of society. - David Hull

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy. - Ambrose Bierce

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. - Cathy Carlyle

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. - Agnes Repplier

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

The salesman knows nothing of what he is selling save that he is charging a great deal too much for it. - Oscar Wilde

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all the time. That would be hypocrisy. - Oscar Wilde

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

If you don't value your time, neither will others. Stop giving away your time and talents. Value what you know and start charging for it. - Kim Garst

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus


Jewrusalem

Easter Math

Easter Lost

Cold Easter in Europe

Jerusalem Obituary, 33 A.D.

Ottawa Senators Announcement

The Crucifixion

Driveway With A View

Reformed Buddhists

Coin Shopping

SwarchenEgger

Lighthouse Safety

First Signs Of Spring

Easter Sepulcher

Back-lash

Find 11 Faces

Redneck Electric Pool

Hokey Pokey Addict

Tired Of Snow

Moving Dot Illusion

Lehman Brothers Protest

Crowd Surfing - Expert Level

Pipeline Protesters

Live Long Street