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Shower Bar

On Doctor's Orders

Yesterday I had my annual medical checkup. The Doctor said that, at my age, I should have a bar in the shower. So I took his advice.
Shower Bar thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes. - William Shakespeare

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin


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