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Shower Bar

On Doctor's Orders

Yesterday I had my annual medical checkup. The Doctor said that, at my age, I should have a bar in the shower. So I took his advice.
Shower Bar thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man — he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer


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