#1 humor site on the 'net

Tree Hugger Car

That's a wrap...

Tree Hugger Car thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees? - Robin Williams

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

Stardom isn't a profession, it's an accident. - Lauren Bacall

If you hate where you are, move - you are not a tree. - Unknown

To live without risk for me would be tantamount to death. - Jacqueline Cochran

So many catastrophes in love are only accidents of egotism. - Hector Bianciotti

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

The policy of being too cautious is the greatest risk of all. - Jawaharlal Nehru

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Hesitation increases in relation to risk in equal proportion to age. - Ernest Hemingway

It is better to risk saving a guilty man than to condemn an innocent one. - Voltaire

I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach. - Upton Sinclair

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

I think we risk becoming the best-informed society that has ever died of ignorance. - Ruben Blades

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. - Bill Vaughan

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

Yes, risk taking is inherently failure-prone. Otherwise, it would be called sure-thing-taking. - Tim McMahon

Freedom, privileges, options, must constantly be exercised, even at the risk of inconvenience. - Jack Vance

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes. - Adlai Stevenson

If you reveal your secrets to the wind, don't blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. - Unknown

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it. - Maurice Switzer

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. - John Muir

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people. - Confucius

I think trees should bloom earlier in the spring. They act like they are on a schedule. It’s not like they have anywhere to go. - Jarod Kintz

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Greatest Daughter

Sourtoe Cocktail

Ogre Tree

Dog Pot Nap

Shame On All You Hunters

Names of the Colours

Waterfront Dining

Chinese Take Away

Revenge of the Stallion

Learning To 'Fly'

Legal Grounds

New Deer Rifle

Sushi To Go

Guess the Beer

Gut Check

World's First Computer

Bird Plane

At Home Grave

Stern Warning - a Not Yacht

No Shooting

Does Your Dog Look Unusual?

Golf Like I Do

Surreal Cubist

Transparent Touch Calculator