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What Do You Want For Christmas?

Now that I have your complete attention...

What Do You Want For Christmas? thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

The soul is healed by being with children. - Fyodor Dostoyevski

I preferred sewing to bossing little children. - Martha Jones

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

The man who has a full set of tools has no children. - Unknown

The two things children wear out are clothes and parents. - Unknown

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

I continue to stay young, right? I produce children, I stay young. - Donald Trump

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. - Ruth E. Renkel

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Peace will come when the Arabs will love their children more than they hate us. - Golda Meir

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Setting a good example for your children does nothing but increase their embarrassment. - Doug Larson

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. - Bill Cosby

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. - Fran Lebowitz

I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring. - Liz Armbruster

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. - Abigail Van Buren

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

Our children may learn about heroes of the past. Our task is to make ourselves architects of the future. - Jomo Mzee Kenyatta

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." - Lillian Carter

The vivacity of children is always charming, because it is always sincere. A grave child is a rose without fragrance. - Unknown

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. - Agatha Trunchbull

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves. - Anna Quindlen

Most of what we object to as misconduct in children is a natural rebellion against the intrusion of an unimaginative adult despotism in their lives. - Floyd Dell


Clever Weather Billboard

Tree Huggers

Australian Construction Security

India Road Assistance

Cow Walking

Cultural Exchange

Meowzart

Bonus Baby

Strawberry Heart

Water Skiing in Russia

Plumber's Party

Hand Face

Moon Harvest

Reach For The High-Hanging Fruit

CheckMate

Ship Tow

Redneck Turkey Shoot

Costco Wine

Downer Parking

Baconurkey

Camel Herders of the 21st Century

Redneck Palm Pilot

Turkey Day Selfie

Spool Turkey