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What Do You Want For Christmas?

Now that I have your complete attention...

What Do You Want For Christmas? thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Children make your life important. - Erma Bombeck

Children are poor people's riches. - Unknown

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Our children are only as brilliant as we allow them to be. - Eric Micha'el Leventhal

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

Children find everything in nothing; men find nothing in everything. - Giacomo Leopardi

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. - Ruth E. Renkel

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. - Victor Hugo

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

Children's games are hardly games. Children are never more serious than when they play. - Michel de Montaigne

It's not that age brings childhood back again. Age merely shows what children we remain. - Goethe

Don't worry that your children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. - Robert Fulghum

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

During World War II children were not allowed to trick or treat because there was a sugar shortage. - Linda Bozzo

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. - Franklin P. Jones

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

Children aren’t happy without something to ignore,
And that’s what parents were created for. - Ogden Nash

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

We've got to work to save our children and do it with full respect for the fact that if we do not, no one else is going to do it. - Dorothy Height

I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. - Agatha Trunchbull

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright


Yoga in Palm Springs

Bartender Spill

Tetris Logger

Pigging Out in El Paso

Foot Care

Guitar Dog

Cutout Coin Silhouettes

Tree Tattoo

Alt-Ctrl-Del Pillows

Portable GPS

Australian Cyclist

Helicopter Cuts

Holland Bike Lane - For Pros Only

Twins' First Piano Lesson

Foosball for Girls

Youth Walk

Last Selfie

Broccoli Muffins

Get Along Shirt

Rooftop Steps

It's Not My Job

Mathematician's Truck

Redneck Baby Stroller

Redneck Estate Sale