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What Do You Want For Christmas?

Now that I have your complete attention...

What Do You Want For Christmas? thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Adults are just obsolete children. - Dr. Seuss

Old men are children for a second time. - Aristophanes

Never have children, only grandchildren. - Gore Vidal

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Time is a game played beautifully by children. - Heraclitus

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children. - Sam Levenson

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Children see things very well sometimes - and idealists even better. - Lorraine Hansbury

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. - Ruth E. Renkel

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty. - Unknown

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Adams

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. - Dave Barry

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. - Franklin P. Jones

It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

The best thing I've ever done? Well, I've created four beautiful children. You mean, other than that? - Donald Trump

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas. - Paula Poundstone

No man should bring children into the world who is unwilling to persevere to the end in their nature and education. - Plato

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

I am afraid we must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy. - George Bernard Shaw

We've got to work to save our children and do it with full respect for the fact that if we do not, no one else is going to do it. - Dorothy Height

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia


Lawntastic Scenery

Hallway Detour

For Your Synths

Ladder Load

Beach Drag

Amish Smart Car

Sitting on the Hot Seat

Redneck Wiener Roast

Free Trip To Heaven

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Double Line Parking

Without Government

Nose For Coke

Crisp Chips

3 Stages Of A Man's Life

Tipsy Crane

Clear View

Redneck Ladder

Home Depot Delivery

Taco Bell Secret Seasoning

Are You OK?

Downchuck

Rickshaw Workout

Tenacity