#1 humor site on the 'net

Cat Burglar

Are you missing underwear?

Cat Burglar thanks to Keith Blake

Cat Burglar thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

My socks DO match. They're the same thickness. - Steven Wright

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Dancing is like bank robbery - it takes split second timing. - Twyla Tharp

Humility is like underwear, essential but indecent if it shows. - Helen Nielsen

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

If I'm traveling, I'll pack socks in my bag - really cute furry ones. - Nicki Minaj

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

A good politician, under democracy, is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. - H L Mencken

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks. - Groucho Marx

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling. - Rodney Dangerfield

I travel without barely any luggage. Just a second set of underwear and binoculars and a map and a toothbrush. - Werner Herzog

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain


Bird Condo

Legal Assistance For All

Chinese Law School

Do Not Stack

Stairway Chute

Walkway Not

Pirate Vacation

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Redneck Spaghetti

Wild Game Nutrition Guide

Alaska Gas

Definition Of A Good Friend

Redneck Car Repair

Self-Propelled Rocket

Pole Clock

Donut Holes

Insect Food Fight

Living At C Level

Little Johnny Bath

Emergency Stops Only

Portable Balance Beam

Fried Eggs - Military Style

Motorvation

Teenage Mutant Ninja Hay Bail