Funny Book Titles

Wacky library books

312 Ways To Die  by  Sue I. Cide
7 Ways To Kill Yourself With Shampoo

A Great Plenty  by  E. Nuff
A la recherche du temps perdu  by  Daisy Mist
A Stitch In Time  by  Justin Case
A Trip To The Dentist  by  Yin Pain & Lord Howard Hurts
A Whole Lot Of Cats  by  Kitt N. Caboodle
Achy Breaky Heart  by  Ann Guish
Acrophobia Explained  by  Alfredo Heights
Advanced Math  by  Smart E. Pants
After The Corned Beef And Cabbage  by  Kay O’Pectate
Ah, Thor!  by  Ty Till
All Alone  by  Saul E. Terry
All-You-Can-Eat Buffets  by  I.M.A. Piggee
Allegiance To The King  by  Neil Downe
Almost Missed The Bus  by  Justin Time
Ambulance Driving  by  Adam Muhway
Ambush!  by  May T. Surprise
And Shut Up!  by  Sid Downe
And The Other People  by  Allan Sundry
Animal Illness  by  Ann Thrax
Animal Scents  by  Farrah Mones
Answering the Questions of the Universe  by  Howard I. Know
Antlers In The Tree Top  by  Hue Goostamoose
April Fool!  by  Sue Prize
Archery  by  Beau N. Arrow
Are We There Yet?  by  Miles Away
Armed Heists  by  Robin Banks
Artificial Clothing  by  Polly Ester
Artificial Weightlessness  by  Andy Gravity
As Solid As  by  Rocco Gibraltar
Assault With Battery  by  Eva Ready
At The Bottom Of The Can  by  Hazel Nutt
Athletic Supporter  by  Jacques Strap
Attractive Floral Arrangements  by  Sean Connery

Back Row Of The Orchestra  by  Clara Nett
Bad Cow Joe-ks  by  Terry Bull
Bad Falls  by  Eileen Dover
Bad Gardeners  by  Wilt Plant
Bad Investments  by  Les Riches
Banquet At McDonalds  by  Tommy Ayk
Baseball  by  A. Diamond
Baseball Poetry  by  Homer
Bathroom Etiquette  by  Gunner Tinkle
Battle Axes  by  Tom A. Hawk
Be Prepared  by  Justin Case
Beach Blanket Bingo  by  Sandy Trunks
Beach Rides  by  Sonny Day
Bedtime  by  P.J. Maws
Beekeeping  by  A. P. Arry
Bestiary of Plant Eaters  by  Herb Avore
Big Fart  by  Hugh Jass
Blonde Hair  by  Bim Bow
Blowout!  by  Vlad Tire
Board Game Challenge  by  Bing O. Iwin
Body Parts  by  Anne Atomy & Tony Shoulder
Boring Midwestern Cities  by  Cole Lumbus
Boxing Cornerman’s Story  by  Dawson DeTowel
Boy Scout’s Handbook  by  Casey Needzit
Brain Surgery  by  Sarah Bellum
Breaking The Law  by  Kermit A. Krime
Bring o The Grocer’s  by  R. List
Broken Window  by  Eva Brick
Brown Stains on the Wall  by  Who Fung Pooh
Bubbles In The Bathtub  by  Ivor Windybottom

Cab Calloway’s Garden  by  Heidi Ho
Canadian Religion  by  P. R. eh
Candle-Vaulting  by  Jack B. Nimble
Car Capital Of The World  by Mitch Egan
Car Repairs  by Axel Grease
Care For A Chop?  by Marsha Larts
Career Opportunities for History Majors
Carnival Rides  by Ivana Herl
Carpet Fitting  by Walter Wall
Caulking Made Easy  by Phil McKrevis
Chauvinistic Men  by  A. Lone
Cheap Transmissions  by  Stan Dard
Cheaper Than IBM  by  P.C. Clone
Cheating On His Wife  by  Izzy Backyet
Chest Pain  by  I. Coffalot
Chicago Gangs Of The 30’s  by  Tommy Gunn
Chicken Dishes  by  Nora Drumsticks
Children’s Songbook  by  Skip Tumalu
Chinese Apathy  by  Hu Cares
Chinese Gold Rush  by  Qwan Dyke
Chinese Meals On Wheels  by  Rick Shaw
Chinese Toy Recalls  by  Sam Ting Wong
Christmas for Baldies  by  Yule Brynner
Circle Perimeter  by  Sir Cumference
Classic Groceries  by  Chopin Liszt
Clear Sky Forecast  by  Esau Starrs
Cloning  by  Irma Dubble II
Clothes For Germ Kings  by  Mike Robes
College Athletics  by  Nancy Dubblelay
Come On In!  by  Doris Open
Columbus, Vespucci And Me  by  Enzo DiUrth
Computer Memories  by  Meg Abight
Confessions Of A Gold Digger  by  Emile Ticket
Cooking A Turkey  by  May B. Done
Cooking Spaghetti  by  Al Dente
Cosmetology  by  Rosie Cheeks
Covered Walkways  by  R. Kade
Crack in the Sidewalk  by  Bobby Tript
Crackdown  by  Lauren Order
Credit Cards  by  Bill Melater
Crocodile Dundee  by  Ali Gator
Cry Wolf  by  Al Armist
Cut the Grass!  by  Moses Lawn

Daddy, Are We There Yet?  by  Miles Away
Dance The Night Away  by  Howell I. Evert Doothis
Danger!  by  Luke Out
Dangerous Animals  by  Mann Eaters
Dealing With Skunks  by  Stan Back
Decorating Your Mousehole  by  Minnie Blinds
Defunct Nations  by  Sophie Etunion
Dentist Appointment  by  Too Thurtee
Desert Crossing  by  I. Rhoda Camel
Desert Storm Approaches  by  Dustin Mynose
Dieting  by  Les Tooeet
Different Ways To Spell Bob
Dinner Delight  by  Roland Butter
Dirty Chinese Windows  by  Hu Flung Dung
Dive! Dive!  by  Perry Scope
Do I Look Fat?  by  Donna Gogh Thare
Do It Yourself  by  Tyrone Shoelaces
Do You Hear a Phone? by  Isabel Ringing
Don’t Come Back Again  by  Doris Shutt
Don’t Do Anything Rash  by  Jacques Itch
Don’t Tread On Me  by  Amanda B. Reckonwith
Downpour  by  Wayne Dwops
Drafted  by  Abel Boddeed
Dragonslayer  by  Claude Chest
Drinking Problems  by  Al Coholic
Drops on the Toilet Seat  by  I.P. Skew
Dull Razor  by  Nick Shaving
 
East Coast Resorts  by  Nan Tuckett
East Coast Universities  by  Cora Nell
Eating Disorders  by  Anna Rexia
Ecclesiastical Infractions  by  Cardinal Sin
Embarrassed In The Shower  by  Kurt N. Fell
Empathy  by  Ophelia Sadness
Employment Handbook  by  Ernie Living
En Garde!  by  Drew Blood
Equine Leg Cramps  by  Charlie Horse
Erotic Adventures  by  Oliver Klozoff
Errors and Accidents  by  Miss Takes and Miss Haps
Events In The Soviet Union  by  Perry Stroika
Exercise On Wheels  by  Cy Kling
Exotic Irish Plants  by  Phil O’Dendron
Explaining It Better  by  Clara Fie
Exploring Haunted Houses  by  Hugo First
Exploring The Dutch Frontier  by  Will Der Ness
Ex-Presidential Retreat  by  Kenny Bunkport
Extreme Hair Makeover  by  Dan Druff

Fairy Fantasy World  by  U. Nick Horn
Fallen Underwear  by  Lucy Lastic
Falling Off A Bridge  by  Ilene Dover
Falling On Your Head  by  Ray N. Dropz
Falling Trees  by  Tim Burr
Famous Philosophers  by  Sew-crates
Fastest Gun In The West  by  Everett DeReady
Fat Lady In The Sideshow  by  Ellie Funt
Feelings  by  Cara Lott
Fifty Yards To The Outhouse  by  Willy Makit and Betty Won’t
Fifty Years In The Saddle  by  Major Asburn
Financial Insecurity  by  Wilma Moneylast
Fingerplay  by  Jacob Sladder
Fix Your Car!  by  Mick Annick
Fish Story  by  Rod Enreel
Fixing Computer Programs  by  Dee Bugger
Flips And Tumbles  by  Jim Nastics
Flogging In The Army  by  Corporal Punishment
Fluffy Pillows  by  Heather Downe
Foot Coverings  by  Susan Socks
Foot Problems of Big Lumberjacks  by  Paul Bunion
Fortune Telling  by  Crystal Ball
Fred Can Philosophize  by  Immanuel Kant
Free Willy  by  Freda Wale
French Cars  by  Myra Neault
French Hospitality
French Overpopulation  by  Francis Crowded
Frisbee  by  Iman Orb
Full Moon  by  Seymour Buns

Galaxy Wars  by  D. Stroid
Gambling  by  Monty Carlos
Gangway!  by  Hedda Steam
Gardening With The Ex-President  by  Rose Bush
Genie In A Bottle  by  Grant Wishes
Get Moving!  by  Sheik Aleg
Get Out There!  by  Sally Forth
Girl On a Budget  by  Penny Pincher
Glass Bikini  by  Seymore Skynn
Glue  by  Stick Ing
Go Away!  by  Ron Onhome
Goes  by  Anne E. Thing
Golly Gosh!  by  G. Whiz
Gone Fishing  by  Rod Annette
Gone With The Wind  by  George Uh
Good Housekeeping  by  Lottie Dust
Good Steak  by  T. Bone
Good Works  by  Ben Evolent
Gotta Go To The Bathroom  by  C. U. Later & Think L. Maket, Illustrated by Betty Went, Published by Doris Laukt
Grave Mistakes  by  Paul Bearer
Great Mysteries by  Hugh Dunnit
Great Resturants by  Bo Leamick
Great Tennis Matches  by  Davis Skupp
Greek Unbeliever  by  Hera Tick
Green Lawn Chairs  by  Patty O’Furniture
Green Spot On The Wall  by  Picken & Flicken
Greenhouse Flowers  by  Mary Golds
Greeting Sheep Strangers  by  Hugh R. Ewe
Growing up in the Balkans  by  Hugo Slavia
Guarding the Door  by  Sergeant Atarms
Guide To Mixology  by  Bart Ender
Gunslingers With Gas  by  Wyatt Burp
Gut-Busting Rides  by  Rollie Coaster

Handel’s Messiah  by  Ollie Luyah
Hanging Around  by  Stacy Moore
Happy New Year!  by  Mary Christmas
Hark The Herald  by  Harold B. Thighname
Highway Travel  by  Dusty Rhodes
He Disappeared!  by  Otto Sight
Head Of Security  by  Barb Dwyer
He’s Contagious!  by  Lucas Measles
Held Hostage By Italian Terrorists  by  Aldo Anything
Here’s Puss In Your Eye  by  Lance Boyle
Hertz, Don’t It?  by  Lisa Carr
Hide And Seek  by  I.C. You
High Conception  by  Emma Culate
Highway Travel  by  Dusty Rhodes
Hiya Fella  by  Gladys Eeya
Hockey Night  by  Stan Lee Kup
Hole In The Bed  by  Mister Completely
Holiday Spots  by  Sandie Beaches
Holmes Does it Again  by  Scott Linyard
Hollow Feelings  by  M. T. Ness
Hollywood Gossip  by  Phyllis Zinn
Home Alone V  by  Annie Buddyhome
Home Of The Liberty Bell  by  Phil A. Delphia
Hope For The Blind  by  Wanda C. Moore
Hopelessly Lost  by  Wes D. Eggzit
Hot Dog  by  Frank Furter
House Construction  by  Bill Jerome Holme
House Plants  by  Clay Potts
Household Book of Tools  by  M.C. Hammer
Housework  by  Dustin Cook
How I Won The Marathony  by  Randy Hoelway
How To Annoy  by  Aunt Agonize
How To Beat A Murder Rap  by  Scott Free
How to Break In  by  Jimmy De Lock
How To Cook A Steak  by  Porter House
How to Cut Grass  by  Lon Moore
How to Destroy Buildings  by  Dyna Might
How To Draw by  Ellis Strait
How To Get Along With Your Sister  by  Sharon Sharealike
How To Get An “A” On Your Math Exam  by  Cal Q. Lator
How To Get Rid of Unwanted Guests  by  Bea O’Problem
How To Make Bush Smart  by  Uca Ant
How To Make Cornmeal Pancakes  by  Johnny Cake
How to Make Honey  by  B.A. Beaman
How To Make Obama Smart  by  Uca Ant
How To Overcome Stress  by  R.E. Lachs
How To Prevent Leaks  by  Titus A. Drum
How To Read a Book  by  Paige Turner
How To Succeed in School  by  Rita Book
How To Sustain a Solo Musical Career  by  Art Garfunkel
How To Take A Spanking  by  Ben Dover
How To Tour The Prison  by  Robin Steele
How To Tune Up Your Auto  by  Carl Humm
How to Write a Mystery Novel  by  Paige Turner
Hunger In America  by  Heywood Jafeedme
Hypnotism  by  N. Tranced

I Beat Bobby Fischer  by  Jess Player
I Can Do Anything  by  Will Power
I Can Fix It  by  Jerry Rigg
I Can’t See The Difference  by  Sam Ting
I Didn’t Do It!  by  Ivan Alibi
I Gotta Go!  by  Sarah B. Athrume
I Hate Monday Mornings  by  Gaetan Oop
I Hate The Sun  by  Gladys Knight
I Hate Fighting  by  Boris Hell
I Hit the Wall  by  Isadore There
I Like Fish  by  Ann Chovie
I Like Liquor  by  Ethyl Alcohol
I Like Weeding Gardens  by  Manuel Labour
I Lived In Detroit  by  Helen Earth
I Lost My Balance  by  Eileen Dover and Paul Down
I Love Crowds  by  Morris Merrier
I Love Bullfighting  by  Matt Adore
I Love Fractions  by  Lois T. Denominator
I Love Mathematics  by  Adam Up
I Love Wills  by  Benny Fishery
I Love You!  by  Alma Hart
I Must Fix The Car!  by  Otto Doit
I Need Insurance  by  Justin Case
I Read You Like A Book  by  Claire Voyant
I Say So!  by  Frank O. Pinion
I Think I Love You  by  Wanda Kizzue
I Want to Help  by  Abel N. Willin
I Was A Cloakroom Attendant  by  Mahatma Coate
I Was A Son Of A Buccaneer  by  Rich Kidd
I Was A Teenage Werewolf  by  Harry Boddy
I Win!  by  U. Lose
I Won The Lottery!  by  Candice B. Trew
I Work With Diamonds  by  Jules Sparkle
I Wuz Framed!  by  Gil Tee
I Wuz Robbed!  by  Alma Money
If I Invited Him...  by  Woody Kum
If Tomorrow Never Comes  by  Stew Layt
I’ll Never Dance Again  by  Ferdie Lasttime
I’ll Never Stop Loving You  by  Percy Vere
I’m an Atheist  by  Noel Noheaven
I’m Broke by  M.T. Wallet
I’m Fine  by  Howard Yu
I’m Gods Gift to Women  by  P. Rick
I’m Nothing Without You  by  M. T. Ness
I’m Scared!  by  Emma Fraid
I’m Someone Else  by  Ima Nonymous
I’m Your Baby  by  Todd Lerr
Imitating Mozart  by  Sam Phony
In Farmer MacGregor’s Garden  by  Peter Abbott
In The Arctic Ocean  by  Isa Berg
In The Trenches  by  Helmut Wearer
Indian/Italian Cuisine  by  Ravi Oley
Indiana Jones’ Adventures  by  Darrin Rescue
Inflammation Tips  by  Arthur Itis
Instant Cash  by  A.T.M. Mashine
Interior Decorating  by  Curt Enrod
Irish Dentistry  by  Perry O’Dontal
Irish First Aid  by  R.U. O’Kaye
Irish Flooring  by  Lynn O’Leum
Is O. J. Guilty?  by  Howard I. Know
It’s A Shocker  by  Alec Tricity
It Won’t Work!  by  Mel Function
Italian Cooking by  Mac Aroni
Italian Delicacies by  Liz Onya
Italian Recipes by  Beau N. Apeteeto
It’s A Holdup!  by  Nick R. Elastic
It’s A Shocker  by  Alec Tricity
It’s All In Your Head  by  Madge Ination
It’s Magic! by  Sven Gali
It’s Not Real by  Arti Fishol
It’s Springtime! by  Theresa Green
It’s Unfair!  by  Y. Me

Jaws  by  Tay Kabite
Jewelry Collecting  by  Pearl Nicholas
Jewish Holidays  by  Hannah Kuhh
Jewish Mysticism  by  Lev Itation
Joe-kster Wins At A Track Meet  by  C. Howie Runns
Judging Fast Food  by  Hamilton Berger
Jurassic Park  by  T. Rex
Just Say No  by  Will Power

Kangaroo Illnesses  by  Marcus Wallaby, M.D.
Keep ’Em That Way  by  Private Parts
Keep It Clean!  by  Armand Hammer
Keep Out!  by  Barb Dwyer
Keeping Old Furniture Looking Good  by  Ann Teak
Kindergarten Kop II  by  Bea Hayve
Kiss Me, Baby!  by  Puck R. Upp

Laid Off  by  Gwen Home
Land Ahoy  by  I.C. Fields
Late For Work  by  Dr. Wages
Laughing In The White House  by  Polly Tickle
Lawn Care  by  Ray King
Lawyers And Suffering  by  Grin and Barrett
Lazy Employees  by  Hans Doolittle
Leo Tolstoy  by  Warren Peace
Leg Cramps  by  Charlie Horse
Let’s Do it Now!  by  Igor Beaver
Lewis Carroll  by  Alison Wonderland
Life As A Comic  by  Stan Dupp
Life Before Cars  by  Orson Buggy
Life In Chicago  by  Wendy City
Life In The Sorority House by  Carrie Onn
Life Of Crime  by  Robin Banks
Life Six Feet Under  by  Doug Graves
Little Bitty Froggies  by  Tad Pole
Lizards  by  E. Guana
Long Walk  by  Miss D. Bus
Long Way Down  by  Rip Cord Broke
Look Younger  by  Fay Slift
Los Angeles Pachyderms  by  L.A. Funt
Lots Of Excitement  by  Hugh N. Cry
Lots Of Luck  by  Bess Twishes
Loudspeakers  by  Mike Rophone

Making Explosives  by  Stan Wellback
Many Are Cold, But Few Are Frozen  by  Minnie Sota
Mardi Gras Time  by  Lou Isiana
May Flowers  by  April Showers
Maritime Disasters  by  Andrea Doria
Maritime Rules  by  Paula See
May Flowers  by  April Showers
Meals On Safari  by  Lionel Eecha
Meant To Be  by  Des T. Knee
Measles Collision  by  Kay Rash
Meat Eaters  by  Carney Vore
Meeting in France  by  Ron DeVous
Mensa Man  by  Gene Yuss
Merry Maid Service  by  Dustin Taybles
Mexican/Italian Food  by  Pepe Roney
Mexican Revenge  by  Monty Zuma
Military Defeats & Major Disasters  by  General Mayhem
Military Fast  by  Colonel O’Corn
Military Rule  by  Marshall Law
Mineralogy For Giants  by  Chris Tall
Misunderstood  by  Art Tistic
Mobile Homes  by  Winnie Bago
Modern Giants  by  Hugh Mungous
Modern Tree Watches  by  Anna Log
Money Management  by  Owen Cash
Monkey Shines  by  Bob Boone
Moon Phases  by  Seymour Butts
More For Your Money  by  Max Amize
Mosquito Bites  by  Ivan Itch
Mountain Climbing  by  Andover Hand
Mosquito Bites  by  Ivan Itch
Move Your Body  by  Sheij Aleg
Musical Gunfighters  by  The Okay Chorale
My Career As A Clown  by  Abe Ozo
My Life In The Gutter  by  Yves Trough
My Life With Annette  by  Amos Kateer
My Lost Causes  by  Noah Veil
My Seventh Husband  by  Ivana Newhouse
Mystery In The Barnyard  by  Hu Flung Dung

NASCAR Speedsters  by  Red E. Setgo
Neat Shirts  by  Preston Ironed
Neither A Borrower  by  Nora Lender Bee
Never Forget  by  L. E. Phunt
New Guy Hair Salons  by  Buzz Cutts
New Mexico Tour Book  by  Albie Kerky
NHL Hockey  by  Stanley Kupp
Nice Hotels  by  Mary Ott
No!  by  Kurt Reply
No More Circuit Breakers!  by  Ira Fuse
Nobel Prize Cannibals  by  Laurie Ate
Noise is Forbidden!  by  Nada Loud
Nordic Groundskeepers  by  Leif Raker
Not A Guitar!  by  Amanda Lin
Not Bogged Down In Reality  by  Jason Rainbows
Not For Dogs  by  Kay Nein
Not So Hot  by  Luke Warm
Nuclear Explosives  by  Adam Baum
Nuclear Power Bafflement  by  Ken Fusion
Nuts about You!  by  Cy Cosis

Off To Market  by  Tobias A. Pigg
Oh What A Relief It Is  by  Al Kaseltzer
Okee Dokee  by  Roger Wilco
Old Furniture Refinished  by  Ann Teak
On The Road To Recovery  by  Will Being
One Hundred Years Old  by  Abbie Birthday
Olympic Ski Jumping  by  Eileen Dover Toofar
Oops, I Did It Again!  by  Miss Take
Options Trading  by  June Gold
Organic Vegetables  by  Hedda Lettuce
Out Of Breath  by  Ima Puffing
Outdoor Activities  by  Alf Resco
Outdoor Cookery  by  Barbie Cue
Outer Space  by  A. Leanne
Overcoming Nervousness On Radio  by  Mike Fright
Overweight Vegetables  by  O. Beets

Pace Yourself  by  S. Lowdowne
Pain in My Body  by  Otis Leghurts
Pain Relief  by  Ann L. Gesick
Parachuting  by  Hugo First
Part Of Her  by  Oliver Knott
Party On, Dude  by  Jill Out & Ray Zinheil
Pasta by  Liz Onya
Pause Behind A Pyramid  by  Mustafa Wee
Peeping Tom  by  Sawyer Scanties
Pentagon Press Release  by  Colonel O’Truth and Lotta Lies
Personal Best  by Marco DeStinction
Pet Monkeys  by  Jim Panzee
Perverted Mushrooms  by  M. Morel
Pie  by  Don Cherry
Pilgrim Settlers  by  May Flower
Potato Tyrant  by  Dick Tater
Playing With The Christmas Fire by  Yule B. Sari
Plumb Good by  Dwayne Pipe
Positive Reinforcement by  Wade Ago
Prayers For Children  by  Cindy Skool
Prepare To Meet Your Maker  by  Eva DeStruction
Preparing Leather  by  Tanya Hyde
Pressure Relief  by  Korsetsov
Prevent Drowning  by  Buddy System
Prison Escape  by  Jay L. Byrd
Promoting Your Product  by  Brandon Close
Pull with All You’ve Got!  by  Eve Ho
Pull Yourself Together!  by  Annette Curtain
Punk Rock Rules!  by  Lotta Noyze
Put’er There, Pal!  by  Greg Garious

Quick Payments
by  Bill M. Fast
Quips For The Young At Heart  by  Marty Pants

Race To The Outhouse illustrated by Betty Dont
Racketeering  by  Dennis Court
Raise Your Arms  by  Harry Pitt
Raising Flowers By Hand  by  Flo Wrist
Rangers In The Night  by  Forrest Fyar
Rapunzel, Rapunzel!  by  Harris Long
Ready... Set...  by  Sadie Word
Reach For The Stars  by  Tip E. Toes
Real-Life Lottery Winners  by  Jack Potts
Red Vegetables  by  B. Troot
Riel Ambush!  by  May T. Surprise
Rich People  by  Belle Yenere
Robots  by  Anne Droid
Role Models  by  Anne Spire Ng
Round the World  by  Madge Ellen
RTFM  by  Reid Manuel
Rules For Living  by  Sharon Sharalike
Russian Lung Diseases  by  Ivan Nastikoff
Russian Tennis Shoes  by  Ivan Odor
Rusty Bed Springs  by  I.P. Nightly

Sandpapers Of The West  by  Tex Ture
Say The Magic Word  by  Abby Cadabra
Scandinavian Photography  by  Matt Finnish
Scary Place  by  Hugo First
Scottish Kilt Patterns  by  Glen Pladd
Scuffed Floors  by  Mark Tupp
Sea Birds  by  Al Batross
Season Tickets  by  Oprah Maven
Shake It Up, Baby  by  Toby Rock N. Rolle
Shakespeare In The Desert  by  Cam L. Otte
Shakespeare’s Phrases  by  Toby R. Nottaby
Shaky Knees  by  Cliff Diver
Shell Collecting  by  Sandy C. Shore
Shhh!  by  Danielle Soloud
Ship Mysteries  by  Marie Celeste
Shoes For Farm And Ranch  by  Claude Hopper
Shorter Skirts  by  Seymour Knicks
Signs  by  Bill Board
Silly Rabbit  by  Trixie R. Forkids
Singin’ and Shakin’  by  Oprah Tic Tenor
Six Feet Under  by  Paul Bearer
Skunks In The Shrubbery  by  P. Yew
Slept Right Throught It  by  R.E. Classes
Small Treasures In The Toilet Bowl  by  I.P. Nickels
Small Vegetables  by  Russell Sprout
Smart Beer Making  by  Bud Wiser
Smash His Lobster!  by  Buster Crabbe
Smoker’s Cough  by  Nick O’Teen
Snakes Of The World  by  Anna Conda
So Thirsty  by  Phillip A. Jug
Soak Your Ex-Husband  by  Ali Money
Soda Pop History  by  Ginger Aile
Sofa So Good  by  Chester Field
Solving Crimes  by  D. Tective
Some Like It Hot  by  Red Pepper
Some Like It Sweet  by  Sugar Kane
Something Fishy  by  Anne Chovie
Something’s Out There  by  Will B. Watchinu
Songs For Children  by  Barbara Blacksheep
Songs From “South Pacific”  by  Sam and Janet Evening
Sound As A Bell  by  A.C. Langer
Southern California Waffles  by  Sandy Eggo
Split Personalities  by  Jacqueline Hyde
Spots On The Wall  by  Who Flung Poo
Staple Your Way To Success
Star Spangled Barrio  by  Jose Canusee
Star Wars  by  Ro Botts
Statues  by  Stan Dingstill
Still Looking For My Heart  by  Sam Francisco
Stop Arguing  by  Xavier Breath
String Instruments  by  Viola Player
Strong Winds  by  Gayle Force
Stunned Over Christmas  by  Holly Daze
Stuntman To The End  by  Kenny Doitt
SuJoku  by  the joe in SuDoku
Sugar-Free Brands  by  Bubba L. Gumm
Superhero Blast  by  U. DaMann
Surprised!  by  Omar Gosh
SUV Tips  by  Phil Upmore
Swedish Perfumeries  by  Ole Factory
Swimming in the Arctic  by  I. C. Waters
Swimming in the Ocean  by  C. Lyons

Take A Break!  by  Colin Sick
Take This Job And Shove It  by  Ike Witt
Tall Tales  by  A. Lyre
Tarantula Attack  by  Harry Leggs
Teach Me  by  I. Wanda Know
Tear Up Those Betting Slips  by  Lou Zerr
Technology in the 21st Century  by  Rob Ott
Teenagers Of The 50’s  by  Bobbie Sox
Text Editing  by  E. Max and Vi
The Art of Being of Discreet  by  Anonymous
The Auto Salvage Business by  Rex Toad
The Beach Bully by  Harry Ayp
The Big Wave by  Sue Nami
The Bird Collection by  Arnie Thologie
The Bog by  Pete Maas
The Book of Virtue by  Bill Clinton
The Candy Store by  Pepper Mintz
The Cat’s Revenge by  Claude Bottom
The Chuck Berry Story by  Judy Frudy
The Complete Proctologist’s Handbook by  Ben Dover
The Contest  by  Willie Winn and Betty Can
The Criminals Of Watergate by  Barton Mee
The Day Hitler Ruined My Barmitsva by  Ima Jew
The Dead Of Winter by  Jan Yuary
The End of the World  by  Armageddin Outtahere
The Excitement Of Trees  by  I. M. Board
The Fall Of A Watermelon  by  S. Platt
The Economy is Recovering  by  Knott Quite
The Effects of Alcohol  by  Sir Osis of Liver
The First Time We Met  by  Ken I. Havadate
The Fortune Teller  by  Reid Palms
The French Chef  by  Sue Flay
The Frozen South  by  A. Winterbottom
The Garden State  by  Ida Hoe
The German Bank Robbery  by  Hans Zupp
The Good Breakfast  by  Hammond Deggs
The Greasy Spoon  by  Chris Coe
The Great English Breakfast  by  Chris P. Bacon
The Great Escape  by  Freida Convict
The Great Flood  by  Noah Zark
The Great Missile Barrage  by  Lonch M. Awl
The Ham Radio Primer  by  Loudon Clear
The Haunted House  by  Hugo First
The Hidden Surprise  by  Pam Perz
The History Of Exxon  by  Phil Errup
The History of Fox TV  by  Annette Work
The Hitchhiker  by  Juan Nalift
The Housing Problem  by  Rufus Quick
The Hungry Baby  by  Nora Titoff
The Industrial Revolution  by  Otto Mattick
The Irish Heart Surgeon  by  Angie O’Plasty
The LA Lakers’ Breakfast  by  Kareem O’Wheat
The Lady Pirate  by  Peg Legg
The Last Roundup  by  Brandon Irons
The Lion Attacked  by  Claudia Armoff
The Man Behind The Bush  by  Izzy Naked
The Miracle Drug  by  Penny Cillin
The Monkey Cage  by  Jim Panzee
The Music Of Sammy Davis Jr.  by  Candy Mann
The Naked Lady  by  Willie Raper
The National Science Foundation  by  Grant Money
The Nude Beach  by  Seymour & Howe
The Old Bell Tower  by  Rusty Bell
The Outboard Motor Died  by  Rhoda Shaw
The Palace Roof Has A Hole  by  Lee King
The Paper Route  by  Avery Daye
The Peace Mission  by  Olive Branch
The Perils Of Drug Addiction  by  Anita Fixx
The Phillipine Post Office  by  Imelda Letter
The Scent Of A Man  by  Jim Nasium
The Shrinking Society  by  Les Ismoor
The Smell in the Vatican  by  Pope Porree
The Smorgasbord  by  Buffy Dinner
The Spiritual Life  by  Ned Itation
The Squeaking Gate  by  Rusty Hinges
The Sweat Shop  by  Hiram Cheap
The Telltale Heart  by  Stefi Scope
The Truancy Problem  by  Marcus Absent
The TV News Anchorman  by  Maury Ports
The Twelfth Month  by  Dee Sember
The Unfinished Story  by  Cliff Hanger
The Unknown Rodent  by  A. Nonny Mouse
The Wizard Of Oz  by  Ima Munchkin
The World’s Best Recipes  by  Gus Tatorial
The World’s Deadliest Joe-k  by  Theophilus Punoval
Theft and Robbery  by  Andy Tover
Things To Cook Meat In  by  Stu Potts
Things To Do At Parties  by  Bob Frapples
Those Funny Dogs  by  Joe Kur
Three Wishes by  Grant Ted
Tiger On the Loose by  Claude Balls
Tigger’s Revenge  by  Claude Balls
Tight Situation  by  Leah Tard
Tighten That Butt!  by  A. Nail Retentive
Tinseltown Tales  by  Holly Wood
Tires On Ice  by  Hugh Sless
To Be Honest  by  Frank Lee
Tombstone Sales  by  Barry Moore
Too Rough  by  Soren Redd
Tornado Touches Down!  by  Rufus Blownoff
Torn Fingernails  by  I. Bightem
Trails In The Sand  by  Peter Dragon
Transportation in the Middle Ages  by  Orson Cart
Trial Law  by  Tess Temoni
Trim Those Sideburns  by  Buzz Cutt
Tug of War  by  Paul Hard
Turkish Minerals  by  Asa Miner
Turtle Racing  by  Eubie Quick
TV Not  by  Ray Deo
Two Thousand Pounds  by  Juan Ton
Tyrant Of The Potatoes  by  Dick Tater

Uncomfortable Feelings  by  Jock Strap
Under the Bleachers  by  Seymour Butts
Unemployed  by  Anita Job
Uninteresting Road Signs  by  Bill Bored
Unsolved Mysteries  by  N. Igma

Vacation Spots in the Tropics  by  Sandy Beech
Vegas Divorces  by  Marion Hayste
Vegetable Arrangements  by  Art E. Choke
Volunteer’s Guidebook  by  Linda Hand

Waiting In Line For The Bathroom  by  Ivana Tinkle
Wake Up!  by  Sal Ammoniac
Walking In The Moonlight  by  Holden Hanz
Walking Tall  by  G. Raffe
Waste Dumps  by  I. Saw
Watering Hole  by  O. Asis
We Take Credit Cards, But...  by  Cassius Better
Weak Bladder  by  I.P. Often
Webster’s Words  by  Dick Shunnary
Weekend In Hong Kong  by  Rick Shaw
Weekend Warriors  by  Gladys Friday
Weepy Movie  by  Maud Lynn Story
We’re All Flakes  by  Dan Druff
West Coast Universities  by  Stan Ford
Wind Instruments  by  Tom Bone
Winter Hikes  by  I.C. Toes
What I Took  by  Irv Erginity
What Makes A Good Thief  by  Ian Yerhous
What Makes Airplanes Go  by  Jeff Fuel
What Old Cars Have  by  Russ T. Paint
Whatchamacallit  by  Thingum Bob
What’s For Dinner?  by  Chuck Roast
What’s Your Invention?  by  Pat Tent
When’s The Revolution?  by  Millie Tant
Where To Find Islands  by  Archie Pelago
Where to Put Your Money  by  Bill Fold
Where’s the Toilet?  by  Ivona Tinkle
Who Killed Cock Robin?  by  Howard I. Know
Why Amy Walked To School  by  Mr. Bus
Why Cars Stop  by  M. T. Tank
Why Did You Leave Me?  by  Noe Clew
Wind In The Maple Trees  by  Russell Ingleaves
Wind Instruments  by  Tom Bone
Winning the Race  by  Vic Tree
Wish I’d Never Been Born  by  Rudy Daye
With The Stars  by  Dan Sing
Without Warning  by  Oliver Sudden
Women Rule  by  Iam Write
Wondermint Toothpaste  by  Pearl E. Teeth
Woulda Been A Great Shortstop  by  Kent Hitt
Wouldn’t You Know It  by  Murphy Slaw

Yellow River  by  I. P. Nightly
Yoko’s Robe  by  Kim Ono
You Can Be Both!  by  Wong N. Wight
You Don’t Say  by  Ida Claire
You Drip!  by  Lee K. Fawcette
You Wash, I’ll Dry  by  Terry Cloth
You’re A Bundle of Laughs  by  Vera Funny

You’re Kidding!  by  Shirley U. Jest
You’re My Everything  by  Trudy Light
You’re So Sweet  by  Mable Syrup
You’re Wearing My Ring  by  N. Gaged
Your Teeth  by  Pearl E. White


QuotaBills
So many books, so little time. - Frank Zappa

Years teach us more than books. - Berthold Auerbach

Never judge a book by its movie. - J.W. Egan

Oh, that lovely title, ex-president. - Dwight D Eisenhower

A book is like a garden carried in the pocket. - Unknown

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy. - Groucho Marx

If you think you have it tough, read history books. - Bill Maher

Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them. - Lemony Snicket

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

A classic is a book which people praise and don't read. - Mark Twain

It is not titles that honour men, but men that honour titles. - Niccolo Machiavelli

If you really want to know yourself, start by writing a book. - Shereen El Feki

The best books... are those that tell you what you know already. - George Orwell

I don't discriminate against sushi. It's all good in my book. - Billy Horschel

We shouldn't teach great books; we should teach a love of reading. - B.F. Skinner

It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what others say in a whole book. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

A good book is like an unreachable itch. You just can't leave it alone. - Laura Bush

You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me. - C S Lewis

Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person. - Chanakya

It often happens that the quotations constitute the most valuable part of a book. - Vicesimus Knox

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it. - Moses Hadas

The dark night was the first book of poetry, and the constellations were the poems. - Chet Raymo

Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book. - Cicero

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? - Bette Midler

Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that's where it should stay. - Christopher Hitchens

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

If you're going to write a book on how to raise children, do it before you have them. - Bob McLaren

All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn. - Ernest Hemingway

Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested. - Francis Bacon

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two. - George Burns

If there's a book you really want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it. - Toni Morrison

So I'm reading a book on my new iPad, but can't the iPad read it for me? Do I have to do everything? - Matthew Perry

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything. - Robert Frost

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why. - Katharine Whitehorn

Why aren't more gems from our great authors scattered over the country? Great books aren't within everybody's reach. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

If my books had been any worse, I should not have been invited to Hollywood, and if they had been any better, I should not have come. - Raymond Chandler


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27-Apr-2017