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Q: How did the giant's wife know that Jack was coming?
A: She could hear Hack and the beans talk.

Q: What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A: A bear-faced lyre.

Q: What girl can catch jellyfish with her hair?
A: A bru-net.

Q: What did the girl calendar say to the other girl calendar?
A: “I have more dates than you do.”

Q: Why is football popular on Venus?
A: Because all the houses have Astroturf on their front lawns.

Q: Why did the stringray speak to the diver?
A: He wanted to have a manta-man talk.

Q: Why did the dog run away from home?
A: “Doggone if I know!”

Q: What Asian food recipe calls for both poultry and a grinch?
A: Chicken lo Mean.

Q: Why are there no zebras in Scotland?
A: Because stripes clash with plaids.

Q: What did the pitcher say to the cup?
A: “I'll have none of your lip.”

Q: What does a dentist to a hockey team specialize in?
A: Puck teeth.

Q: What's the difference between an elbow and a rabbit's telephone?
A: One's a funny bone, and the other is a bunny's phone.

Q: Why did the ocean flood the stadium?
A: It was doing the wave.

Q: How does a comedian like his eggs?
A: Funny side up.

Q: Why didn't the computer pass its driving test?
A: It crashed too often.

Q: Why did the elephant go to the locksmith?
A: To have his trunk opened.

Q: Why is monastery food so greasy?
A: It's all cooked by friars.

Q: What kind of nuts does a banker like the best?
A: Cash-ews.

Q: What's an important aid in good grooming for pet mice?
A: Mouse wash.

Q: What do you get when you cross a dog and a lion?
A: A terrified postman.

Q: Did you hear about the computer with the corrupt hard disk?
A: Its backup was worse than its byte.

Q: What do you call the Wright brothers if they make a mistake?
A: The wrong brothers.

Q: What do you call a German in a motorcycle hat?
A: Helmut.

Q: What kind of ocean bird can't fly, can't swim, and can't catch fish?
A: A peli-can't.

Q: What sport do turkey chefs play?
A: Baste-ball.

Q: What happened to the boy who drank eight cans of Coke?
A: He brought 7 Up.

Q: What do five square meals make?
A: Round people.

Q: Why don't little fish sleep at night?
A: They're afraid of the shark.

Q: What is a musician's favourite cereal?
A: Flute Loops.

Q: What do computer programmers like to eat for breakfast?
A: Ram & eggs.

Q: Why do seagulls live near the sea?
A: Because if they lived near the bay, they'd be called bagels.

Q: What did one pencil say to the other?
A: “You're looking sharp.”

Q: What's green and round and goes camping?
A: A boy sprout.

Q: Where can you find out more about ducks?
A: In the duck-tionary.

Q: Why is it difficult to keep a secret when you're cold?
A: Because your teeth chatter.
 

Q: What keeps jazz musicians on earth?
A: Groovity.

Q: Why did the schoolboy throw a glass of water out the window?
A: He wanted to see a waterfall.

Q: Where does a broom go when it's tired?
A: It goes to sweep.

Q: What kind of X-rays do foot Doctors take?
A: Toot-ographs.

Q: Why can't two elephants go swimming at the same time?
A: Because they only have one pair of trunks.

Q: Why did the baker sell his bread only to the rich and famous?
A: He wanted to work for the upper crust.

Q: What's a cowboy's favourite website?
A: Yahoo!

Q: Why do toadstools grow so close together?
A: They don't need mushroom.

Q: What beetle comes from outer space?
A: Bug Rogers.

Q: What would you get if you crossed a crystal ball with a skunk?
A: An animal with a sixth scent.

Q: What time is it when you sit on a thumb tack?
A: Spring time.

Q: Where did the rabbit learn to fly?
A: In the hare force.

Q: When should a doughnut chef quit?
A: When he is tired of the 'hole' business.

Q: What do moths study at school?
A: Mothematics.

Q: What did the baby banana say to the mother banana?
A: “I don't peel good.”

Q: What kind of fish goes with peanut butter?
A: Jelly fish.

Q: How do you say yes to an optometrist?
A: “Eye-eye, sir.”

Q: Why did the ram crash his car?
A: He didn't see the ewe turn.

Q: Why did the cow jump over the moon?
A: The milkmaid's hands were cold.

Q: Why were outlaws the strongest men in the Old West?
A: They could hold up trains.

Confucius say, “Man who eat sweets take up two seats.”

Q: What does a shark use for a barbecue?
A: Sharkoal.

Q: What sickness can a plane catch?
A: The flew.

Q: What do you call a super pig who can climb up the sides of buildings?
A: Spiderham.

Q: What would you get if you crossed Prince Charles with Moby Dick?
A: The Prince of Whales.

Q: Why couldn't the writer cross the road?
A: He had authoritis.

Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline?
A: Spring.

Q: What is the tip of the iceberg?
A: 10 to 15 percent of the iceberg's bill.

Q: Why is a graveyard noisy?
A: Because of all the coffin.

Q: What part of a clock is always old?
A: The second hand.

Q: Why can't it rain for 2 days continually?
A: Because there's always a night in between.

Q: What did the lightbulb say to the switch?
A: “You turn me on.”

Q: What did the DVD say to the radio?
A: “You just don't get the picture, do you?”

Q: What animal is best at hitting a baseball?
A: A bat.

Q: Why did the playground cross the road?
A: To get to the other slide.
 

Q: Why are there no psychiatrists for dogs?
A: Everyone knows dogs aren't allowed on couches.

Q: Who was Wyatt Burp?
A: A sheriff with a repeater.

Q: What's a ticklish subject?
A: The study of feathers.

Q: What illness did everyone on the Enterprise catch?
A: Chicken Spocks.

Q: What kind of musician can't you trust?
A: Someone who plays the bull fiddle.

Q: What's a Pilgrim's favourite country?
A: Turkey.

Q: What do you call a dog with a cold?
A: Achoo-huahua.

Q: What happens when you don't clean your mirror?
A: You get a dirty look.

Q: What do you call a patriotic dog?
A: A Yankee poodle.

Q: How do frogs fly?
A: By hopper-craft.

Q: What animals are on legal documents?
A: Seals.

Q: What do you call a foreign body in a chip pan?
A: An Unidentified Frying Object.

Q: Did you hear about the mad scientist who put dynamite in his fridge?
A: He blew his cool.

Q: Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A: The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

Q: Why do you always find something in the last place you look?
A: Because when you find it, you stop looking.

Q: How do ducks decorate?
A: They wallpaper over the quacks.

Q: What is a hot time?
A: A clock in an oven.

Q: What is a vampire's favourite Olympic sport?
A: Casketball.

Q: What's the coldest place an ant can go?
A: The Antarctic.

Q: What do you give a sick snake?
A: Asp-irin.

Q: What would you get if you crossed a monkey with powdered orange juice?
A: An Oranga-Tang.

Q: Why should you walk carefully when it's raining cats and dogs?
A: You might step into a poodle.

Q: What international cricket team plays only half dressed?
A: The Vest Indies.

Q: What do cannibals eat when they go out for breakfast?
A: Buttered host.

Q: How does the Moon trim its hair?
A: E-clipse it.

Q: What do you get when you cross a clown with a chicken?
A: A comedi-hen.

Q: What is the slowest mountain?
A: Mt. Everest.

Q: What did the old man say when he walked into an antiques store?
A: “What's new?”

Q: Who was the first to have a mobile home?
A: A turtle.

Q: What did the tree surgeon say about the diseased elm?
A: “Its bark is worse than its blight.”

Q: What's the longest line at a Joe-kster's party?
A: The punch line.

Q: What do you get if you cross a flat fish and a bird?
A: A cheep skate.

Q: What inventions help people get up in the world?
A: The elevator, the ladder, and the alarm clock.

Q: What did one mule say to the other?
A: “I get a kick out of you.”

Q: What do you call a baby ant?
A: An inf-ant.

Q: What's special about a neurotic doll?
A: It comes already wound up.

Q: Why did the green vegetable reconsider taking the job?
A: The benefits were good but the celery wasn't.

Q: What did the pen say to the pencil?
A: “What's your point?”

Q: If an athlete gets athlete's foot, what does a scuba diver get?
A: Under toe.

Q: Why couldn't the sailors play cards?
A: Because the captain was on the deck.

Q: What animal says “mooski”?
A: A Moscow.

Q: What stories are told about basketball players?
A: Tall tales.

Q: How do you hang up an airplane?
A: On an airplane hanger.

Q: What can make grass grow bigger?
A: Magnifying grass.

Q: What goes 99-thump, 99-thump?
A: A centipede with a wooden leg.

Q: Who uses voodoo to scare mosquitoes away?
A: The itch doctor.

Q: What is the definition of an undercover agent?
A: A spy in bed.

Q: Why were the charges against the football team dropped?
A: They had a strong defense.

Q: What do you have if you mix a commander of a ship with a fishing lure?
A: Captain Hook.

Q: Where did the fish go on a  date?
A: To the dive-in movie.

Q: What kind of bears like bad weather?
A: Drizzly bears.

Q: How can you say rabbit without using the letter R?
A: Bunny.

Q: What does your mother's sister become when she's nervous?
A: Aunt-sy.

Q: Why did the blonde attach her computer to a fishing rod?
A: Someone told her to hook it up.

Q: How do you make a bandstand?
A: Take their chairs away.

Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with a toad?
A: A wart processor.

Q: How would you feel after a free lunch in a vineyard?
A: Grapeful.

Q: Where do bears go on vacation?
A: Bear-muda.

Q: Where did the sick ship go?
A: To the docks.

Q: When do monkeys fall from the sky?
A: During Ape-ril showers.

Q: Why didn't Stuart Little win an Academy Award?
A: Because mice guys finish last.

Q: What kind of ice cream makes you sick?
A: Van-ill-a.

Q: Why did the airline pilot get fired?
A: He took off too many days.

Q: What do you call a necklace made of fruit?
A: A food chain.

Q: Why was the pig excused from gym class?
A: It had a pulled ham string.

Q: Why are basketball players so hot after a game?
A: All the fans are gone.

Q: When is the best day to tell joe-ks?
A: On Pun-day.

Q: When does the moon burp?
A: When it's full.

Q: What happened to the baseball player who was always late for dinner?
A: His wife threw him out at home.

Q: What do you call a dog that digs up bones?
A: A barkyologist.

Q: What is the laziest part of a car?
A: The wheels - they're always tired.

Q: How did the tooth fairy do in school?
A: Fairy well.

Q: What's a puppy's favourite breakfast?
A: Pooch-ed eggs and bark-on.

Q: What does a mechanical frog say?
A: “Robot! Robot!”

Q: What kind of lettuce do you get on an Alaskan cruise?
A: Iceberg.

Q: Why aren't horses well dressed?
A: Because they wear shoes but no socks.

Q: What is a bird's favourite part of the news?
A: The feather forecast.

Q: What do you call a cat with a pager?
A: A beeping tom.

Q: If 12 make a dozen, how many make a million?
A: Very few.

Q: How do you honour a chestnut?
A: Give it a roast.

Q: What kind of person is fed up with people?
A: A cannibal.

Q: What has winds and solves number problems?
A: A moth-matician.

Q: Where can you buy a chess set?
A: At a pawnshop.

Q: What kind of tree has hair?
A: A fur tree.

Q: Why was the girl named Sugar?
A: Because she was so refined.

Q: What kind of book tells you about all the different kinds of owls?
A: Who's Whoo.

Q: What kind of bird can write?
A: A pen-guin.

Q: How did Lucy get lucky?
A: She found a K.

Q: Why is a moon rock tastier than a meatball?
A: Because it's a littler meteor.

Q: What did the laundry man say to the impatient customer?
A: “Keep your shirt on!”

Q: How do you stop a gelatin race?
A: Shout “Get set!”

Q: How did the gnu cross the river?
A: In a ca-gnu.

Q: What flower lies down?
A: A lazy daisy.

Q: Why don't aliens drown in hot chocolate?
A: Because they sit on the Mars-mallows.

Q: What's the best way to catch a fish?
A: Have someone throw it to you.

Q: What did the frankfurter say when the dog bit him?
A: “It's a dog-eat-dog world.”

Q: What people would never join a nudist camp?
A: Pickpockets.

Q: What did the plastic surgeon say to the duck?
A: “I'm going to have to re-bill you.”

Q: What do you call a sheep farm with only rams?
A: Ewes-less.

Q: What do you call an ant that's good at math?
A: An account-ant.

Q: What game do tornadoes like to play?
A: Twister.

Q: Why do skeletons catch cold so fast?
A: Because they're chilled to the bone.

Q: What gives milk and says, “Oom, oom”?
A: A cow walking backwards.

Q: What is a tree's favourite game?
A: Follow the Cedar.

Q: Why can't you play games in the jungle?
A: Because there's always going to be a cheetah.

Q: What game do you play in water?
A: Swimming pool.

Q: If two's company and three's a crowd, what is four and five?
A: Nine.

Q: What do you get when you cross your brother with an owl?
A: A wise guy.

Q: What would you get if you crossed a librarian with a race car driver?
A: A speed reader.

Q: What kind of store can stay in the same spot for 50 years?
A: A stationery store.

Q: What would you get if you crossed oxen with zebras?
A: Steers and stripes.

Q: What did the toe say when it was asked out on a date?
A: “I couldn't go out with a heel like you.”

Q: What kind of policeman dresses poorly?
A: A plain clothesman.

Q: What happened to the wooden plane with the wooden wheels and wooden engine?
A: It wooden go.

Q: What do you call an anxious dinosaur?
A: A nervous rex.

Q: What kind of hair do oceans have?
A: Wavy.

Did you hear about the florist whose future looked rosy?

Q: What do you get if you cross a cow and a pogo stick?
A: A milkshake.

Q: What does a chicken say when it goes into a library?
A: “Book-book-book-book-book!”

Q: What did the Doctor give the patient with a splitting headache?
A: Glue.

Q: What kind of dancing do pirates love?
A: The rum-ba.

Q: What does an egg do when another egg bothers it?
A: It eggnores it.

Q: Where do vegetables go to get married?
A: To the Justice of the Peas.

Q: What's the cheapest way to see the world?
A: Buy an atlas.

Q: What did one blackbird say to the other blackbird?
A: “Crow up!”

Q: Why did the bird make fun of everyone?
A: He was a mockingbird.

Q: What instrument do lighthouse keepers play?
A: Fog horns.

Q: Where do pigs like to sit?
A: On pork benches.

Q: Why did the parrot carry an umbrella?
A: So he could be polyunsaturated.

Q: What driver puts screws in a glass-bottom boat?
A: A scuba driver.

Q: What do Eskimos use to build their houses?
A: i-glue.

Q: Where do elementary school teachers like to go sailing?
A: Out on the A B seas.

Q: Why didn't Noah do too much fishing on the ark?
A: He only had two worms.

Q: What do you get when you cross peanut butter and a quilt?
A: A bread spread.

Q: Why was the broom late?
A: It overswept.

Q: Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker?
A: It wanted a well-balanced meal.

Q: What songs put baby birds to sleep?
A: Gull-abies.

Q: How do you top a car?
A: Tep on the brake, tupid!

Q: Name a unit of electrical energy.
A: What?

Q: Why do witches wear name tags?
A: So they know which witch is which.

Q: How does a computer order food?
A: Off the menu.

Q: What type of cans are there in Mexico?
A: Mexicans.

Q: What do 24 hours do at night?
A: Call it a day.

Q: Why was the mummy so tense?
A: She was all wound up.

Q: How does morning begin?
A: With the letter 'm'.

Q: Why are pianos hard to open?
A: Piano keys don't open locks.

Q: What do you call a tuba's father?
A: Oom-Papa.

Q: When is fishing bad for you?
A: When you're a worm.

Q: What kind of underwear do mummies wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.

Q: What was the first thing the lumberjack did when he bought a computer?
A: He logged on.

Q: How do you spell hard water with three letters?
A: ICE

Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks?
A: Dinomite.

Q: Are palm trees always green?
A: Yes, except at a fortune teller's, where palms are red.

Q: Why do mothers put so much powder on their babies?
A: Talc is cheap.

Q: Why was the fish's wish granted?
A: He found his fairy cod mother.

Q: What pop group kills germs?
A: The Bleach Boys.

Q: What's the difference between an Indian elephant and an African elephant?
A: Around 3,000 miles.

Q: Why was the computer so good at golf?
A: It had a hard drive.

Q: What happened to the kitten that got caught in a Xerox machine?
A: He became a copycat.

Q: Why did the stallion need a cough drop?
A: He was hoarse.

Q: Why are barns so noisy?
A: Because the cows have horns.

Q: What do you get when you drop an ice cream on the floor?
A: A plopsicle.

Q: What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A: “Is that you, Mommy?”

Q: What do you call an oyster who doesn't let anyone share his pearl?
A: Shell-fish.

Q: What did the waiter do when a customer pointed out a twig in his soup?
A: He called over the branch manager.

Q: How do you know that you are talking to a undertaker?
A: By his grave manner.

Q: What do you call a big Irish spider?
A: Paddy long legs.

Q: What do you call a dog in the middle of a muddy road?
A: A mutt in a rut.

Q: Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?
A: He wanted to find Pluto.

Q: What birds spend all their time on their knees?
A: Birds of prey.

Q: How do you take a pig to hospital?
A: By hambulance.

Q: What do you call the science of soda pop?
A: Fizz-ics.

Q: What does one star say to another star when they meet?
A: “Glad to meteor!”

Q: Why did the frog croak?
A: It ate a poisonous fly.

Q: Whom did the bug's uncle marry?
A: His 'ant'.

Q: How does a tree count?
A: “One, two, tree.”

Q: What illness can you catch from a martial arts expert?
A: Kung flu.

Q: What's a shark's favourite game?
A: Bite and seek.

Q: Why wouldn't the apple join the other fruits in the salad?
A: He didn't find it as a-peeling.

Q: Which book is about chickens?
A: The hen-cyclopedia.

Q: What would you get if you crossed a cactus with a porcupine?
A: Sore hands.

Q: What's a rabbit's favourite candy?
A: A lollihop.

Q: How do you revive a butterfly?
A: Moth-to-moth resuscitation.

Q: What did the worm say to the other when he was late home?
A: “Where in earth have you been?”

Q: Which Bible character had no parents?
A: Joshua, son of Nun.

Q: Why does Batman brush with toothpaste?
A: To prevent bat breath.

Q: What's a vampire's favourite food?
A: Scream of mushroom.

Q: What do you say when you get off a boat?
A: “Thank you ferry much.”

Q: Did you hear about the track star that raced a rabbit?
A: He won by a hare.

Q: What do you use to paint a dromedary?
A: Camel enamel.

Q: Why did the man go to dinner with his psychiatrist?
A: So he could whine and dine.

Q: What do you call a green vegetable served on a ship?
A: A crew-cumber.

Q: Why was the computer cold?
A: It forgot to close its windows.

Q: Why do golfers like Fruit Loops?
A: Because there's a hole in every one.

Q: What do you call a frog with no hind legs?
A: Unhoppy.

Q: What did the submarine say to the ship?
A: “I can see your bottom.”

Q: What didn't King Arthur ever get served at the Round Table?
A: A square meal.

Q: Why did the tennis players get into trouble?
A: They were making a lot of racket.

Q: What did the tree wear to the pool?
A: Swimming trunks.

Q: What do snowmen call their offspring?
A: Chill-dren.

Q: What do you call high-rise apartment houses for pigs?
A: Styscrapers.

Q: In which direction does a chicken swim?
A: Cluck-wise.

Q: Who held the baby octopus for ransom?
A: Squidnappers.

Q: What happens when two snails have a fight?
A: They slug it out.

Q: What do you call a car that acts in movies?
A: Harrison Ford.

Q: What's the purpose of the asteroid belt?
A: To hold up the asteroid's pants.

Q: Why did did the history history teacher say say every every thing thing twice twice?
A: Because history repeats itself.

Q: What does a cannibal call a phone book?
A: A menu.

Q: What do you call a baby rifle?
A: A son-of-a-gun.

Q: Why don't cannibals eat weathermen?
A: Because they give them wind.

Q: What do you get when you cross an automobile with music?
A: Car toons.

Q: Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
A: It ran out of juice.

Q: What do you call a very popular perfume?
A: A best smeller.

Q: What did the high diver wear to his wedding?
A: A swim suit.

Q: Why did the pelican refuse to pay for his meal?
A: His bill was too big.

Q: What do you call a frog spy?
A: A croak and dagger agent.

Q: What monster eats a lot of junk food?
A: Snackula.

Q: Have you heard the joe-k about the jump rope?
A: Skip it.

Q: What's a cat's favourite country?
A: Purr-u.

Q: How do you keep a mummy crisp and fresh?
A: Use plastic wrap.

Q: Who is the sickest Doctor in Asia?
A: Flu Manchu.

Q: What did the scissors say to the hair?
A: “It won't be long now.”

Q: What do you call a person who thinks he has wings and can fly?
A: Plane crazy.

Q: What's the difference between a person who dips baby sheep in paint and a dishonest beaver?
A: One is a lamb dyer, the other is a dam liar.

Q: Why did the ding dong wring his hands?
A: Because his bell was out of order.

Q: What's the name of a Scottish dentist?
A: Phil McCavity.

Q: What do polar bears eat for lunch?
A: Ice burgers.

Q: How do you make a sausage roll?
A: Push it down a hill.

Q: Why was the cowboy a lot of laughs?
A: He was always horsing around.

Q: Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
A: It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

Q: How does King Neptune keep his home clean?
A: He has a mermaid.

Q: What's the happiest US state?
A: Merryland.

Q: What do ghosts chew?
A: Boo-ble gum.

Q: Who was the first underwater spy?
A: James Pond.

Q: What do you call a cat comedian?
A: A witty kitty.

Q: What do you get if you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A: A bird that plucks itself.

Q: When is it safe to leave a dog in a car with the windows rolled up?
A: When he's in a convertible.

Q: What do you call a snake that drinks too much coffee?
A: A hyper viper.

Q: What kind of dog washes clothes?
A: A laundermutt.

Q: In France, if someone pretends to be your father, what is he called?
A: A faux pas.

Q: Where do ants like to go on holiday?
A: Ant-igua.

Q: What did the beaver say to the tree?
A: “It's been nice gnawing you.”

Q: Why did the fly fly?
A: Because the spider spied her.

Q: Why did the cat swallow cheese?
A: So it could wait at the mouse hole with baited breath.

Q: Why is it good to tell ghost stories in hot weather?
A: Because they're so chilling.

Q: What do runners do when they forget something?
A: They jog their memory.

Q: How do baby birds know how to fly?
A: They just wing it.

Q: What would you get if you crossed a computer with a fast car?
A: A click and drag race.

Q: What do snowmen wear on their heads?
A: Ice caps.

Q: What kind of kangaroo gives advice from a mountaintop?
A: A gu-roo.

Q: Which  letter of the alphabet is always asking questions?
A: Y.

Q: What would you get if all the cars in the country were painted pink?
A: A pink carnation.

Q: What did the alien say to the cat?
A: “Take me to your litter.”

Q: What do you get when you cross a skunk with a vegetable?
A: Smellery.

Q: What did the skeleton order at the restaurant?
A: Spare ribs.

Q: What do you call it when a highway stumbles?
A: A road trip.

Q: What do you get when you cross a cocoa bean with an elk?
A: Chocolate moose.

Q: Why doesn't the warden give prisoners chocolate?
A: It makes them break out.

Q: Why didn't the cannibal want to go to the crematorium for lunch?
A: They overcook everything.

Q: What did the Wolfman umpire shout as the lady vampire flew away?
A: “Bat-her-up!”

Q: Why did the snail cross the road?
A: I don't know - it hasn't got there yet.

Q: What has antlers and sucks blood?
A: A moose-quito.

Q: How does a snowman get to work?
A: By icicle.

Q: Why did the stupid goblin flunk his math test?
A: He couldn't find the scare root.

Q: What does a watch do on vacation?
A: Time travel.

Q: What happens if you make a cannibal angry?
A: You end up in hot water.

Q: What happened to the man who put his false teeth in backwards?
A: He ate himself.

Q: How far is it from one basketball court to the next?
A: Just a hoop, skip and a jump.

Q: What should you do when you serve a camel tea?
A: Ask him if he'd like one hump or two.

Q: What do you get when you cross Dracula with Microsoft Word?
A: A word count.

Q: Who exploded at Waterloo?
A: Napoleon Blownapart.

Q: What experimental ice cream flavour fell flat on its ear?
A: Cob on the cone.

Q: What do you call a man who cuts lion's hair?
A: The mane man.

Q: Where do basketball players settle their arguments?
A: In court.

Q: What do you get when you cross a hippo with a rodent?
A: A hippopota-mouse.

Q: Why do millipedes taste like chewing gum?
A: They're wrigglies.

Q: What do English country gentlemen do on Saturday nights?
A