“My wild oats have turned to shredded wheat.”
“Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.”
“Don't worry about avoiding temptation - as you grow older, it will avoid you.”
“By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.”
“It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.”
“Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.”
“Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.”
“At my age, flowers scare me.”
“If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.”
“Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.”
“Age is not an interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.”
“Aging is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.”
“I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.”
“That's the formaldehyde. That's why Granny's so well-preserved.”
“Old age is no place for sissies.”
“If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.”
“When putting it into memory, remember where you put it.”
“The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.”
“Inside every older lady is a younger lady - wondering what the hell happened.”
“The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.”
“Age: That which makes wine worth more and women less.”
Betcha can't read fast enough for this Harvard test!
“Complaints About NBA Referees Growing Ugly”
I wear glasses, so I can look for things I keep losing.
I’m at the age where my back goes out more than I do.
My mother always used to say, “The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.”
One of the best parts of growing older? You can flirt all you like since you’ve become harmless.
Retirement is like a long vacation in Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.
The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible.
“To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.”
What's a computer sign of old age?
Marathon Runner: A person who is happy to be over the hill.
Vacation: When older people find out they are not as young as they feel.
Growing Old
Where did King Midas live after he retired?
Damage: How older people cuss their many years.
Metallic Age: The age at which one finds Gold in one's teeth, silver in one's hair, and lead in one's pants.
Retirement: The time of life when you stop lying about your age and start lying about the house.
Wanderbra
Wicked: Anything the old cannot enjoy.
One surefire way to keep living to be one hundred is to keep breathing.
My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals.
KIPPERS: Kids In Parents' Pockets Eroding Retirement Savings
Why are a grandfather's teeth like the stars?
Eating plenty of fruit can help you live to a ripe old age.
Life is a test and I didn't take very good notes.
Theory that chocolate slows down the aging process...
A man is not old as long as he is seeking something.
To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.
Good friends, like wine, get better with age.
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
I'm not aging, I'm marinating.
What do you call a 100-year-old cheerleader?
What do you call an aging tailor?
How do you buy grandparents?
Age doesn’t matter unless you are a cheese.
At my age, getting a second doctor's opinion is kind of like switching slot machines.
Discussing how old you are is the temple of boredom.
Don't grow old without money, honey.
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you was?
I am old enough to tell the truth. It is one of the privileges of age.
I want to die young at an advanced age.
I'll never make the mistake of being seventy again.
What characterizes a grandfather clock?
What is a computer's first sign of old age?
When some people retire, nobody knows the difference.
 

  (click on the thumbnail images below to expand to full size)
It Was That Close


African Meal on Wheels

Sick Tombstone

Pa Loves Women

A Beautiful Message About Growing Old

The Good Old Days

Redneck Stars

Hopscotch for Seniors

Teeter TottHer

Newfoundland Icebreaker

Different Drugs

Dead End Road

Whiskey Lurks Good

Smile For The Day

Take Away Food

Death of a Snowman

Long Winter

Mother-In-Law

How Tequila Works

Too Much Homework?

Scarf Fashion

Hooters Mascara

Revenue Canada Simplified 2009 Tax Form

New IRS Form

Men's Vacuum Cleaner

Unwanted Christmas Gifts

Vancouver Snow Plow

Original SUV

Just Deserts

His & Her Pumps

Safe Seat Belt

Hot Job in the City

Santaween

Diving Santas

How To Serve Chicken Wings To A Man

Hooters Calendar 2009

Beware of Solar Power

Husband of the Year

You Want Change?

You Guys Make Me Sick

Inside A Computer

One Of Those Days

3 Stages Of A Man's Life

Dollar Drop

Best Fairy Tale

When You Gotta Go

Redneck Garage

Tired Truck

Reading Chair

Alzheimer's Wing

Dust Bytes for Dust Mites

Pill Man

Chinese Shoelusion

Real Man's Barbecue

Sushi Earrings

Wheelchair Priorities

Einstein or Monroe?

Looka But Don't Touch

Redneck Trophy Fish

'How Far Apart' Bed

My Ex-Wife, The Pilot

Moldy Bible

Two Face

Thongthing Special

Pacman Skeleton

Senior Wheelies

Geek Gravestone

Ascot Fashion Statement

Gut Check

The Ass Family

Camouflage Face

Expired Parking

Woman's Remote

Mink Love

Handicap Helper

Signs of Old Age

Rubik's Head

Same Mistake

Clown Down

Put On A Happy Face

Barry Bonds Rookie Card

Spot the K-Mart Shopper

Gopher's Phone Booth

Coffin Dragster

Swimming Without Getting Your Hair Wet

Health Plug

Camouflage Couch

Baby Suit

Celebrity Match

Formula One Wheelchair

Granny Does Windows Too

Senior Protesters

Boy Scout Scooter

Keyboard Technology - Old Meets New

Police ReTireMeant

Ingrown Motorcycle

Hillbilly Tooth Fairy

All Weather Runner

Good To The Last Drop

Time To Hang Up The Thong

Fencing Down Under

Pianist's Challenge

Ancient Politician

Dear Crossing

4 Stages Of Life

Tired Backhoe

New Wine for Seniors - Anti-Diuretic Hybrid Grape?

End Of The Line
When you know you can't go any further in life...

Special Present For Grandpa
... just before Little Johnny went to bed for the rest of his life...