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Amended Company Travel Policy

Effective immediately, due to budgetary constraints, the following policies are established regarding employees travel:

1. TRANSPORTATION:
Hitchhiking is the preferred mode of travel. Luminescent vests will be issued prior to departure (only one per group). Bus transportation may be considered when hitchhiking is not possible.
Airline tickets will be issued in extreme circumstances (Greater than 24 hours driving time). Employees will fly on stand-by status. If stand-by travel becomes unavailable to another location, then the employee must conduct all business or training at the first destination.
Rental cars are certainly authorized and encouraged, but will be at the employees expense. Note that rental cars should be used as lodging.
Transportation time to and from locations that exceeds 12 hours must be logged as holidays.

2. LODGINGS:
All employees are encouraged to stay with friends, relatives or mere acquaintances. A list of catchy introductory phrases will be issued shortly so the names can be selected randomly from a phone book on the chance that someone will take you in.
Up to $3.00 may be charged on your expense claim (receipts required) for all phone calls (local calls only) made to total strangers for this purpose.
Public areas, such as parks, roadside rest areas, bridges and tunnels may be used for temporary lodgings. Boxes may be obtained from the mail room for use as shelters. Consider getting arrested for overnight lodgings (see MEALS)

3. MEALS
Dieting and fasting are encouraged on company trips. The Company is well aware of grocery chains that provide "free samples" of promotional items, such as small bits of cheese and kielbasa, and will provide reimbursement for meals consumed beyond a 16 km radius of such grocery chains.
Literature will be provided shortly on indigenous roots, berries and other natural food sources at your destination, based on seasonal changes. Meal expenses are not authorized when staying with friends, relatives, mere acquaintances or total strangers (see Lodgings).
If restaurants must be utilized, employees must patronize those that advertise "all you can eat". Salad Bars: Ask for "Doggie Bag" and don't forget to take all the crackers and sugars that you can carry. This method can be used to feed co-travelers, and cover all three meals in a day for one employee.
On airlines ask for extra bag of peanuts from attendant, or grab them from the meal cart, or from small children. Employees are encouraged to take along tuna, peanut butter and bread, all of which can be consumed without the need of heating or other costly preparation methods.
Beverage expenses will be reimbursed only if the employee justifies why water was not available.

4. INCIDENTALS
The Company will reimburse bail bond for theft (see Lodgings and/or Meals) if the employee, in good faith, tried to get arrested to save the Company money.


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