Amish Mechanical Problems

An Amish fellow can tell when his equipment’s not working properly


An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.

“Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”

“Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.”

“That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. That’s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!”

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop. “Well, dear, what exactly did he say?”

“He said the reflector is broken.”

“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?”

“I’m not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake...”


QuotaBills
I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. - Groucho Marx

Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown

Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one. - Relient K

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb

The power of music feels like taking a a nice brake from this busy world. - Millie DeWitt

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson

Take care to sell your horse before he dies. The art of life is passing losses on. - Robert Frost

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. - Bob Varsha

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman

You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races. - Mark Twain

A definite purpose, like blinders on a horse, inevitably narrows its possessor's point of view. - Robert Frost

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. - Dale Carnegie

The man who makes no mistakes lacks boldness and the spirit of adventure. He never tries anything new. He is a brake on the wheels of progress. - M.W. Larmour

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin


see also   Amish,  Horse  &  Mechanic  Sections
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Elevator View
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
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16-Sep-2019