Amish Elevator View

What goes up “better” come down

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this, Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life - I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go get your mother.”

QuotaBills
The woman that deliberates is lost. - Joseph Addison

I view art as an inspirational tool. - Thomas Kincade

Tis brief, my lord... as woman's love. - William Shakespeare

A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Taking joy in life is a woman's best cosmetic. - Rosalind Russell

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

A woman who strives to be like a man lacks ambition. - Unknown

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. - H L Mencken

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. - Sam Levenson

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. - Groucho Marx

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects to a woman thinking. - Virginia Woolf

That woman temptated me up there and you know she was a wonton woman. - Archie Bunker

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. - Erica Jong

No one but a woman in love ever sees the maximum of men's greatness. - Anais Nin

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. - Honore de Balzac

The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

And what is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing. - Geoffrey Chaucer

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg

A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can. - Jane Austen

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. - Steve Martin

A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man — he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


see also   Amish & Mennonite   Section
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Centerfold
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Mechanical Problems
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Looking For Your Wife?

 

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20-Aug-2018