Amish Elevator View

What goes up “better” come down

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this, Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life - I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go get your mother.”

QuotaBills
What a beautiful view! - Alan Shepard

Taking joy in life is a woman's best cosmetic. - Rosalind Russell

Men are not afraid of things, but of how they view them. - Epictetus

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. - H L Mencken

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. - Sam Levenson

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

I love bringing roses to a woman when she least expects it. - Esai Morales

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. - Groucho Marx

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Whatever you do, do it with intelligence, and keep the end in view. - Thomas á Kempis

The three words every woman really longs to hear: I'll clean up. - Molly Shannon

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Unknown

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code

The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking. - John Kenneth Galbraith

I want to be a millionaire not for the money but for the woman I will become. - Jaime Tardy

A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell

Beauty is the first present nature gives to a woman and the first it takes away. - Fay Weldon

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. - Oscar Wilde

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy. - Yves St. Laurent

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age; a woman who would tell one would tell one anything. - Oscar Wilde

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

Never try to impress a woman because if you do, you'll have to keep up that standard the rest of your life. - WC Fields

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

Men have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority. I've never had trouble with a woman in any position. - Sam Malone

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man — he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Nature will bear the closest inspection. She invites us to lay our eye level with her smallest leaf, and take an insect view of its plain. - Henry David Thoreau

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner


see also   Amish & Mennonite   Section
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Centerfold
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Mechanical Problems
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
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15-Nov-2018