Amish Elevator View

What goes up “better” come down

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this, Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life - I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go get your mother.”

QuotaBills
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields

A woman who strives to be like a man lacks ambition. - Unknown

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb

He has a woman's name and wears makeup. How original. - Alice Cooper

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. - Steve Martin

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes. - Robin Williams

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Unknown

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

The woman who can create her own job is the one who will win fame and fortune. - Amelia Earhart

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. - Oscar Wilde

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

And what is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing. - Geoffrey Chaucer

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is usually plain. - Oscar Wilde

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her. - Oscar Wilde

It is very rare or almost impossible that an event can be negative from all points of view. - Dalai Lama

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg

The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time. - Joe Girard

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned. - William Congreve

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life with a clearer view again. - Alex Tan

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

The layman's constitutional view is that what he likes is constitutional and that which he doesn't like is unconstitutional. - Hugo L Black

And why should it not be terrifying? A little terror, in my view, is good for the soul, when it is terror in the face of a noble object. - Robertson Davies

Nature will bear the closest inspection. She invites us to lay our eye level with her smallest leaf, and take an insect view of its plain. - Henry David Thoreau

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner


see also   Amish & Mennonite   Section
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Centerfold
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Mechanical Problems
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Looking For Your Wife?

 

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22-Oct-2019