Amish Elevator View

What goes up “better” come down

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this, Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life - I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go get your mother.”

QuotaBills
I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

When a woman is openly bad she is then at her best. - Latin Proverb

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. - H L Mencken

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. - Sam Levenson

A desk is a dangerous place from which to view the world. - John Le Carre

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

It is much easier to take care of a sackful of fleas than a woman. - German Proverb

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Unknown

Every woman dreams of her own political career and her own place in life. - Raisa M. Gorbachev

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford

The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking. - John Kenneth Galbraith

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. - Oscar Wilde

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

No honest work of man or woman "fails"; it feeds the sum of all human action. - Michelene Wandor

A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is usually plain. - Oscar Wilde

I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I

It is very rare or almost impossible that an event can be negative from all points of view. - Dalai Lama

A man has to be Joe McCarthy to be called ruthless. All a woman has to do is put you on hold. - Marlo Thomas

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. - Dale Carnegie

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

No woman is worth more than a fiver unless you're in love with her. Then she is worth all she costs you. - W Somerset Maugham

Remember, we're fighting for this woman’s honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done! - Groucho Marx

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being. - Oscar Wilde

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's. - Bernard Shaw

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron


see also   Amish & Mennonite   Section
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Centerfold
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Mechanical Problems
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
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17-Feb-2019