Amish Elevator View

What goes up “better” come down

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this, Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life - I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go get your mother.”

QuotaBills
Tis brief, my lord... as woman's love. - William Shakespeare

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. - Virginia Woolf

There's a great woman behind every idiot. - John Lennon

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey

The most beautiful view is the one I share with you. - Unknown

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. - H L Mencken

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. - Steve Martin

I love bringing roses to a woman when she least expects it. - Esai Morales

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works. - Will Rogers

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. - Honore de Balzac

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking. - John Kenneth Galbraith

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell

Beauty is the first present nature gives to a woman and the first it takes away. - Fay Weldon

The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy. - Yves St. Laurent

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. - Dale Carnegie

No woman is worth more than a fiver unless you're in love with her. Then she is worth all she costs you. - W Somerset Maugham

There goes a woman who knows all the things that can be taught and none of the things that cannot be taught. - Coco Chanel

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself. - Anais Nin

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. - Steve Martin

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman - it depends on how much happiness you can handle. - George Burns

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. - Casey Stengel


see also   Amish & Mennonite   Section
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Centerfold
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Mechanical Problems
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Looking For Your Wife?

 

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16-Jun-2019