Amish Elevator View

What goes up “better” come down

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this, Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life - I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go get your mother.”

QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

I view art as an inspirational tool. - Thomas Kincade

Tis brief, my lord... as woman's love. - William Shakespeare

A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. - Virginia Woolf

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

Few maxims are true from every point of view. - Marquis de Lac de Clapiers Vauvenargue

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey

A woman who strives to be like a man lacks ambition. - Unknown

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

Men are not afraid of things, but of how they view them. - Epictetus

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. - Steve Martin

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects to a woman thinking. - Virginia Woolf

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. - Oscar Wilde

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time. - Joe Girard

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

The heights charm us, but the steps do not; with the mountain in our view we love to walk the plains. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

After all, inside every woman, no matter how grown up she is, there is still a frightened little girl. - Sergei Lukyanenko

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. - Woody Allen

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful. - Eleanor Roosevelt

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. - Casey Stengel

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner


see also   Amish & Mennonite   Section
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Centerfold
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Mechanical Problems
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Looking For Your Wife?

 

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26-May-2018