Amish Elevator View

What goes up “better” come down

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this, Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life - I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go get your mother.”

QuotaBills
Tis brief, my lord... as woman's love. - William Shakespeare

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

A man thinks he knows, but a woman knows better. - Indian Proverb

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields

A woman who strives to be like a man lacks ambition. - Unknown

Men are not afraid of things, but of how they view them. - Epictetus

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. - Steve Martin

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes. - Robin Williams

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things. - Epictetus

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Whatever you do, do it with intelligence, and keep the end in view. - Thomas á Kempis

That woman temptated me up there and you know she was a wonton woman. - Archie Bunker

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking. - John Kenneth Galbraith

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

The woman who can create her own job is the one who will win fame and fortune. - Amelia Earhart

A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell

Beauty is the first present nature gives to a woman and the first it takes away. - Fay Weldon

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. - Oscar Wilde

A woman will flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are looking on. - Oscar Wilde

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has at least a dozen, and that they all fit. - Oscar Wilde

A man has to be Joe McCarthy to be called ruthless. All a woman has to do is put you on hold. - Marlo Thomas

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time. - Joe Girard

I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. - Virginia Woolf

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" - Dumas

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. - Dale Carnegie

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Men have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority. I've never had trouble with a woman in any position. - Sam Malone

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her worst fears would come true. - Jennifer Castle

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren


see also   Amish & Mennonite   Section
Amish 3 Horsepower Country Camper
Amish Airlines – Maiden Voyage
Amish Centerfold
Amish Friends
Amish Man’s Occupation
Amish Mechanical Problems
Amish Prom Limo
Amish Smart Car
Looking For Your Wife?

 

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25-Apr-2019