Bear Praise

Survival kit for bears


Jack loved to hunt. Every winter he went out with his friends on the weekends looking for bear. One weekend, he couldn’t find a friend to go with, so he went out into the woods himself.

In the middle of a forest, he was taking a break when suddenly he was confronted by the largest, meanest looking bear he had ever seen. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful.

Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could in a vain attempt to outrun the bear. Jack ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim.

Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, Jack got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, “Dear Lord! Please give this bear some *religion*!”

The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of Jack, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused. He seemed to have become very calm and friendly...

Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky, put his paws together, bent his head and said, “Thank you, Lord, for the food I am about to receive.”


QuotaBills
damn with faint praise - Alexander Pope

Support the right to arm bears. - Unknown

Human kind cannot bear very much reality. - T S Eliot

Praise the ripe field, not the green corn. - Unknown

Survival is a major contributor to longevity. - Unknown

A puff of wind and popular praise weigh the same. - English Proverb

Thanks, Darth Obvious. Or is it Emperor Palpable? - Chuck Wendig

I'd rather write about polar bears than people. - Mary Oliver

People ask for criticism, but they only want praise. - W Somerset Maugham

It is more difficult to praise rightly than to blame. - Thomas Fuller

I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing. - Bette Midler

A classic is a book which people praise and don't read. - Mark Twain

We come not to mourn our dead soldiers, but to praise them. - Francis A Walker

The measure of a man is the way he bears up under misfortune. - Plutarch

Sandwich every bit of criticism between two heavy layers of praise. - Mary Kay Ash

We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown

It is not clear that intelligence has any long-term survival value. - Stephen Hawking

Nothing happens to anybody which he is not fitted by nature to bear. - Marcus Aurelius

Most people would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. - Unknown

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The silence of a man who loves to praise is a censure sufficiently severe. - Charlotte Lennox

Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown

Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. - Unknown

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins

Bulls and bears aren't responsible for as many stock losses as bum steers. - Olin Miller

It's not the bulls or the bears you need to avoid, it's the bum steers. - Chuck Hillis

To be blind is not miserable; not to be able to bear blindness, that is miserable. - John Milton

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. - Oprah Winfrey

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you. - Unknown

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence. - Bertrand Russell

A word of encouragement during failure is worth more than a dictionary of praise following success. - Unknown

Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde

My favorite animal is a polar bear. They're going extinct, and I really don't want that to happen. - Quvenzhane Wallis

Let us be of good cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those that will never happen. - James Russell Lowell

We are all motivated by a keen desire for praise, and the better a man is, the more he is inspired to glory. - Cicero

Drunk Man: "I can't bear fools."
Dorothy Parker: "Apparently your mother could." - Dorothy Parker

We deem those happy who, from the experience of life, have learned to bear its ills, without being overcome by them. - Juvenal

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - I Thessalonians 5:16-18

When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? - Bible

Nature will bear the closest inspection. She invites us to lay our eye level with her smallest leaf, and take an insect view of its plain. - Henry David Thoreau


see also   Bear  &  Safety   Sections
Bear Pinata
Bear Print
Bear Protection
Canadian Food Chain
Canadian High Five
Golf Gimme
Grizzly Bear Chair
I Found A Bear Cub!
Russian Car Pool
Salmon Fight

 

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18-Dec-2018