Bear Praise

Survival kit for bears


Jack loved to hunt. Every winter he went out with his friends on the weekends looking for bear. One weekend, he couldn’t find a friend to go with, so he went out into the woods himself.

In the middle of a forest, he was taking a break when suddenly he was confronted by the largest, meanest looking bear he had ever seen. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful.

Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could in a vain attempt to outrun the bear. Jack ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim.

Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, Jack got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, “Dear Lord! Please give this bear some *religion*!”

The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of Jack, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused. He seemed to have become very calm and friendly...

Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky, put his paws together, bent his head and said, “Thank you, Lord, for the food I am about to receive.”


QuotaBills
The best way to get praise is to die. - Italian Proverb

Human kind cannot bear very much reality. - T S Eliot

I will praise any man that will praise me. - William Shakespeare

In doing what we ought we deserve no praise. - St. Augustine

My parents put a live teddy bear in my crib. - Woody Allen

Humor is one of the best ingredients of survival. - Aung San Suu Kyi

I'd rather write about polar bears than people. - Mary Oliver

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

People ask for criticism, but they only want praise. - W Somerset Maugham

No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks. - St. Ambrose

I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing. - Bette Midler

A classic is a book which people praise and don't read. - Mark Twain

We come not to mourn our dead soldiers, but to praise them. - Francis A Walker

Praise is the only gift for which people are really grateful. - Marguerite

It is simpler and easier to flatter people than to praise them. - Jean Paul Richter

For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold

Nothing happens to anybody which he is not fitted by nature to bear. - Marcus Aurelius

Most people would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. - Unknown

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The silence of a man who loves to praise is a censure sufficiently severe. - Charlotte Lennox

Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. - Unknown

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins

Bulls and bears aren't responsible for as many stock losses as bum steers. - Olin Miller

It's not the bulls or the bears you need to avoid, it's the bum steers. - Chuck Hillis

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. - Oprah Winfrey

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you. - Unknown

Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown

Praise the Lord. Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who finds great delight in his commands. - Bible

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. - Aristotle

You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one. - John Wooden

Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde

My favorite animal is a polar bear. They're going extinct, and I really don't want that to happen. - Quvenzhane Wallis

We are all motivated by a keen desire for praise, and the better a man is, the more he is inspired to glory. - Cicero

We deem those happy who, from the experience of life, have learned to bear its ills, without being overcome by them. - Juvenal

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? - Bible

Nature will bear the closest inspection. She invites us to lay our eye level with her smallest leaf, and take an insect view of its plain. - Henry David Thoreau

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - C S Lewis

The chief ingredients in the composition of those qualities that gain esteem and praise, are good nature, truth, good sense, and good breeding. - Joseph Addison


see also   Bear  &  Safety   Sections
Bear Pinata
Bear Print
Bear Protection
Canadian Food Chain
Canadian High Five
Golf Gimme
Grizzly Bear Chair
I Found A Bear Cub!
Russian Car Pool
Salmon Fight

 

Water Taxi

Wrench Family

How To Burn Fat

Ghetto Boat

Car Surgeon

Just Blew It

His Dent

Cheat of the Year

Divorce Defined

Paint Ladder

Peopledarin

Frozen Pipes in the Garage

Attentive Student

Corgi Snow Height

FishSun - Touching The Sun
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

22-Feb-2019