Future Corrections Officer

Where playground security takes bottom priority


Future Corrections Officer

QuotaBills
I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

The height of cleverness is to conceal it. - Duc de la Rochefoucauld

Just pray for a tough hide and a tender heart. - Ruth Graham

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place. - Zora Neale Hurston

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment. - Harry Banks

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. - Albert Einstein

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

I have fallen in love with someone who is hiding inside of you. - Hafiz

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

This is good news... If the Persians hide the sun, we shall do battle in the shade. - Herodotus

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

There is one difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist - the taxidermist leaves the hide. - Mortimer Caplan

When you hide the bodies of the problems, that's how you eventually amass skeletons in your closet. - Faydra D. Fields

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can. - Jane Austen

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Distinguished ancestors shed a powerful light on their descendants, and forbid the concealment either of their merits or of their demerits. - Gaius S. Crispus

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - General Colin Powell


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25-May-2018