Future Corrections Officer

Where playground security takes bottom priority


Future Corrections Officer

QuotaBills
Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Just pray for a tough hide and a tender heart. - Ruth Graham

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

It is a great ability to be able to conceal one's ability. - Duc de La Rochefoucauld

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

Try as you may to hide, you can never contain the beauty of your Soul. - Cheryl lee Harnish

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

This is good news... If the Persians hide the sun, we shall do battle in the shade. - Herodotus

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffet

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. - Aaron Levenstein

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

When you hide the bodies of the problems, that's how you eventually amass skeletons in your closet. - Faydra D. Fields

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can. - Jane Austen

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer


see also   Kids,  Police  &  Security  Sections
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23-Jan-2018