Forgetful Old Ladies

When the memory fails


Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, “You know, I’m getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn’t remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down.”

The second lady says, “You think that’s bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn’t remember whether I was going to bed or had just woken up!”

The third lady smiles smugly. “Well, my memory’s just as good as it’s always been, knock on wood.” She raps the table. With a startled look on her face, she asks, “Who’s there?”


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Gratitude is the memory of the heart. - Unknown

Fear. Blame. Don't forget. Mom. I love you. - Lauren Oliver

Those who drink to forget, please pay in advance. - Irish Saying

Those who forget their past are destined to repeat it. - Robert A. Heinlein

Nothing prevents happiness like the memory of happiness. - Andre Gide

Do not forget small kindnesses and do not remember small faults. - Chinese Proverb

Forget what hurt you in the past but never forget what it taught you. - Unknown

Elected leaders who forget how they got there won't the next time. - Malcolm Forbes

One must have a good memory to be able to keep the promises one makes. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget. - Unknown

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it. - Michel de Montaigne

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Obscenity is whatever happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate. - Bertrand Russell

The only mothers it is safe to forget on Mother's Day are the good ones. - Mignon McLaughlin

Dinner and a movie? Forget that. I'd rather have a picnic and a waterfall. - Amanda Grace

He is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts. - Richard Brinsley Sheridan

It's surprising how much of memory is built around things unnoticed at the time. - Barbara Kingsolver

I am not so lost in lexicography as to forget that words are the daughters of earth. - Samuel Johnson

People advising others often forget that the same advice applies to their life as well. - Anuj Somany

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Divorce = Rebirth: forget the past, replan your life, improve your appearance & rejuvenate! - Rossana Condoleo

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

The Seven Dwarfs of Menopause: Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful and Psycho. - Unknown

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. - Rita Rudner

There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good. - Stephen Colbert

The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Sometimes I feel like a normal person. Sometimes I forget I'm on parole, that I'm not really free. - Jennifer Lane

If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised. - Dorothy Parker

I'm taking memory power boost tablets to help me every day and doing the puzzles to help me stay focused. - Terry Bradshaw

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

A man who has been in danger,
When he comes out of it forgets his fears,
And sometimes he forgets his promises. - Euripides

Own only what you can always carry with you: know languages, know countries, know people. Let your memory be your travel bag. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. - George Burns

I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain things aren't what they used to be, I always forget to include myself. - George Burns

Modesty is invisibility... Never forget it. To be seen - to be seen - is to be... penetrated. What you must be girls, is impenetrable. - Margaret Atwood

Please promise me. If and when the day comes that I may forget who you are, please promise that you won't forget that I am still me. - Mara Botonis

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

You need the kind of objectivity that makes you forget everything you've heard, clear the table, and do a factual study like a scientist would. - Steve Wozniak


see also   Aging  &  Stress   Sections
Camping For Seniors
Dementia Relations
Dreams Come True
Good Morning Babushka
Grandma Not Welcome
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Grandma Was Here
Granny Does Windows Too

 

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17-Oct-2019