Forgetful Old Ladies

When the memory fails


Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, “You know, I’m getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn’t remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down.”

The second lady says, “You think that’s bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn’t remember whether I was going to bed or had just woken up!”

The third lady smiles smugly. “Well, my memory’s just as good as it’s always been, knock on wood.” She raps the table. With a startled look on her face, she asks, “Who’s there?”


QuotaBills
Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

But men are men; the best sometimes forget. - William Shakespeare

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. - J K Rowling

Never forget what a person says to you when they are angry. - Henry Ward Beecher

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

The positive side to memory loss: you meet new people every day. - Unknown

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. - Voltaire

Elected leaders who forget how they got there won't the next time. - Malcolm Forbes

History is not a burden on the memory but an illumination of the soul. - Lord Acton

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it. - Michel de Montaigne

Those who can't forget are worse off than those who can't remember. - Unknown

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. - Groucho Marx

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen

Dinner and a movie? Forget that. I'd rather have a picnic and a waterfall. - Amanda Grace

You forget what you want to remember, and you remember what you want to forget. - Cormac McCarthy

I've got "Sometimers." Sometimes I remember and sometimes I forget. - Spike Lee

It's surprising how much of memory is built around things unnoticed at the time. - Barbara Kingsolver

No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds. - Red Skelton

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

Divorce = Rebirth: forget the past, replan your life, improve your appearance & rejuvenate! - Rossana Condoleo

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

Tell me and I'll forget. Show me and I may not remember. Involve me and I'll understand. - Native American Proverb

When I only begin to read, I forget I'm on this world. It lifts me on wings with high thoughts. - Anzia Yezierska

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. - Rita Rudner

There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good. - Stephen Colbert

It is a brief period of life that is granted us by nature, but the memory of a well-spent life never dies. - Cicero

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

You learn how to be book smart in school, but you better not forget that you also need to be street smart. - Harvey Mackay

I'd hate to be an alcoholic with Alzheimer's. Imagine needing a drink and forgetting where you put it. - George Carlin

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

A man who has been in danger,
When he comes out of it forgets his fears,
And sometimes he forgets his promises. - Euripides

Own only what you can always carry with you: know languages, know countries, know people. Let your memory be your travel bag. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Every act of perception is to some degree an act of creation, and every act of memory is to some degree an act of imagination. - Gerard M. Edelman

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelou


see also   Aging  &  Stress   Sections
Camping For Seniors
Dementia Relations
Dreams Come True
Good Morning Babushka
Grandma Not Welcome
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Grandma Was Here
Granny Does Windows Too

 

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20-May-2019