Forgetful Old Ladies

When the memory fails


Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, “You know, I’m getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn’t remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down.”

The second lady says, “You think that’s bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn’t remember whether I was going to bed or had just woken up!”

The third lady smiles smugly. “Well, my memory’s just as good as it’s always been, knock on wood.” She raps the table. With a startled look on her face, she asks, “Who’s there?”


QuotaBills
Gratitude is the memory of the heart. - Unknown

But men are men; the best sometimes forget. - William Shakespeare

Fear. Blame. Don't forget. Mom. I love you. - Lauren Oliver

You live and learn, then die and forget it all. - Noel Coward

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet. - Kin Hubbard

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. - J K Rowling

Never forget what a person says to you when they are angry. - Henry Ward Beecher

People tend to forget their duties but remember their rights. - Indira Gandhi

Do not forget small kindnesses and do not remember small faults. - Chinese Proverb

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. - Confucius

True reconciliation does not consist in merely forgetting the past. - Nelson Mandela

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. - Voltaire

The arrogance of the present is to forget the intelligence of the past. - Ken Burns

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

Ultimately it is persistence that will pay off; forget about perfection. - Joe Segal

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde

People forget how fast you did a job - but they remember how well you did it. - Howard Newton

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen

You forget what you want to remember, and you remember what you want to forget. - Cormac McCarthy

He is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts. - Richard Brinsley Sheridan

Never forget that it is not a pneumonia, but a pneumonic man who is your patient. - William Withey Gull

I am not so lost in lexicography as to forget that words are the daughters of earth. - Samuel Johnson

No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds. - Red Skelton

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

Divorce = Rebirth: forget the past, replan your life, improve your appearance & rejuvenate! - Rossana Condoleo

Tell me and I'll forget. Show me and I may not remember. Involve me and I'll understand. - Native American Proverb

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive, but do not forget. - Thomas Szasz

It is a brief period of life that is granted us by nature, but the memory of a well-spent life never dies. - Cicero

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

I'd hate to be an alcoholic with Alzheimer's. Imagine needing a drink and forgetting where you put it. - George Carlin

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end. - Unknown

Own only what you can always carry with you: know languages, know countries, know people. Let your memory be your travel bag. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Every act of perception is to some degree an act of creation, and every act of memory is to some degree an act of imagination. - Gerard M. Edelman

I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain things aren't what they used to be, I always forget to include myself. - George Burns

Modesty is invisibility... Never forget it. To be seen - to be seen - is to be... penetrated. What you must be girls, is impenetrable. - Margaret Atwood


see also   Aging  &  Stress   Sections
Camping For Seniors
Dementia Relations
Dreams Come True
Good Morning Babushka
Grandma Not Welcome
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Grandma Was Here
Granny Does Windows Too

 

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17-Feb-2019