Forgetful Old Ladies

When the memory fails


Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, “You know, I’m getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn’t remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down.”

The second lady says, “You think that’s bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn’t remember whether I was going to bed or had just woken up!”

The third lady smiles smugly. “Well, my memory’s just as good as it’s always been, knock on wood.” She raps the table. With a startled look on her face, she asks, “Who’s there?”


QuotaBills
Gratitude is the memory of the heart. - Unknown

But men are men; the best sometimes forget. - William Shakespeare

Never forget what a person says to you when they are angry. - Henry Ward Beecher

I never deny.
I never contradict.
I sometimes forget. - Benjamin Disraeli

The positive side to memory loss: you meet new people every day. - Unknown

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. - Voltaire

Elected leaders who forget how they got there won't the next time. - Malcolm Forbes

One must have a good memory to be able to keep the promises one makes. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it. - Michel de Montaigne

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Obscenity is whatever happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate. - Bertrand Russell

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. - Groucho Marx

Dinner and a movie? Forget that. I'd rather have a picnic and a waterfall. - Amanda Grace

You forget what you want to remember, and you remember what you want to forget. - Cormac McCarthy

Everybody talks about rock these days; the problem is they forget about the roll. - Keith Richards

A memory is what is left when something happens and does not completely unhappen. - Edward de Bono

It's surprising how much of memory is built around things unnoticed at the time. - Barbara Kingsolver

The first rule is not to lose money. The second rule is not to forget the first rule. - Warren Buffet

People advising others often forget that the same advice applies to their life as well. - Anuj Somany

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. - Stacia Tauscher

No memory of having starred atones for later disregard, or keeps the end from being hard. - Robert Frost

Let us never forget that the cultivation of the earth is the most important labor of man. - Daniel Webster

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

When I only begin to read, I forget I'm on this world. It lifts me on wings with high thoughts. - Anzia Yezierska

There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good. - Stephen Colbert

It is a brief period of life that is granted us by nature, but the memory of a well-spent life never dies. - Cicero

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

I'd hate to be an alcoholic with Alzheimer's. Imagine needing a drink and forgetting where you put it. - George Carlin

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

In today's rush, we all think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just being. - Eckhart Tolle

Own only what you can always carry with you: know languages, know countries, know people. Let your memory be your travel bag. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Please promise me. If and when the day comes that I may forget who you are, please promise that you won't forget that I am still me. - Mara Botonis

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

I'm going to make people happy. I'm going to make them forget about their cancer. I'm going to make them forget about their diabetes. - Dick Dale


see also   Aging  &  Stress   Sections
Camping For Seniors
Dementia Relations
Dreams Come True
Good Morning Babushka
Grandma Not Welcome
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Grandma Was Here
Granny Does Windows Too

 

Spiral Staircase

Clogged Sink

Scuba Diving Sucks

Water Bomber Pilot

Car Paint

Scottish Haircut

The Definition Of Old

Redneck Pool Table

Clint Eastwood

Playing Through

Island Music

Arch Enemies

Firemen's Revenge

Pipeline Security

Gun Exhaust

Canadian Food Chain

Flintstone Drum Set

Bird Cage Illness

Grasping Shirt

Lip Clouds
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

23-Jul-2019