Forgetful Old Ladies

When the memory fails


Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, “You know, I’m getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn’t remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down.”

The second lady says, “You think that’s bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn’t remember whether I was going to bed or had just woken up!”

The third lady smiles smugly. “Well, my memory’s just as good as it’s always been, knock on wood.” She raps the table. With a startled look on her face, she asks, “Who’s there?”


QuotaBills
Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

But men are men; the best sometimes forget. - William Shakespeare

Those who drink to forget, please pay in advance. - Irish Saying

Every man's memory is his private literature. - Aldous Huxley

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. - J K Rowling

Those who forget their past are destined to repeat it. - Robert A. Heinlein

Nothing prevents happiness like the memory of happiness. - Andre Gide

The man who forgets to be grateful has fallen asleep in life. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The positive side to memory loss: you meet new people every day. - Unknown

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

The future you shall know when it has come; before then forget it. - Aeschylus

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. - Voltaire

Forget what hurt you in the past but never forget what it taught you. - Unknown

One must have a good memory to be able to keep the promises one makes. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison

He who does not remember the past is condemned to forget where he parked. - David Rudnitsky

Those who can't forget are worse off than those who can't remember. - Unknown

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Obscenity is whatever happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate. - Bertrand Russell

You forget what you want to remember, and you remember what you want to forget. - Cormac McCarthy

He is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts. - Richard Brinsley Sheridan

The first rule is not to lose money. The second rule is not to forget the first rule. - Warren Buffet

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. - Stacia Tauscher

No memory of having starred atones for later disregard, or keeps the end from being hard. - Robert Frost

Let us never forget that the cultivation of the earth is the most important labor of man. - Daniel Webster

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

When I only begin to read, I forget I'm on this world. It lifts me on wings with high thoughts. - Anzia Yezierska

There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good. - Stephen Colbert

It is a brief period of life that is granted us by nature, but the memory of a well-spent life never dies. - Cicero

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

Sometimes I feel like a normal person. Sometimes I forget I'm on parole, that I'm not really free. - Jennifer Lane

If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised. - Dorothy Parker

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. - George Burns

Every act of perception is to some degree an act of creation, and every act of memory is to some degree an act of imagination. - Gerard M. Edelman

Please promise me. If and when the day comes that I may forget who you are, please promise that you won't forget that I am still me. - Mara Botonis

It's only lonely at the top if you forget all the people you met along the way and fail to acknowledge their contributions to your success. - Harvey Mackay

I'm going to make people happy. I'm going to make them forget about their cancer. I'm going to make them forget about their diabetes. - Dick Dale


see also   Aging  &  Stress   Sections
Camping For Seniors
Dementia Relations
Dreams Come True
Good Morning Babushka
Grandma Not Welcome
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Grandma Was Here
Granny Does Windows Too

 

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14-Dec-2018