Hot Coffee

Spilling the beans in the office

Coffee with special added flavour


A young clerk’s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.

None of the judge’s yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk’s pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted.

The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.

The judge couldn’t resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique.

“Oh, there’s not much to it,” admitted the clerk happily, “I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get outside your office.”


QuotaBills
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant


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25-Apr-2019