Hot Coffee

Spilling the beans in the office

Coffee with special added flavour


A young clerk’s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.

None of the judge’s yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk’s pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted.

The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.

The judge couldn’t resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique.

“Oh, there’s not much to it,” admitted the clerk happily, “I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get outside your office.”


QuotaBills
Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

Whenever law ends, tyranny begins. - John Locke

Coffee and love taste best when hot. - German Proverb

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent. - Anna Kendrick

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


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22-Nov-2017