Hot Coffee

Spilling the beans in the office

Coffee with special added flavour


A young clerk’s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.

None of the judge’s yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk’s pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted.

The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.

The judge couldn’t resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique.

“Oh, there’s not much to it,” admitted the clerk happily, “I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get outside your office.”


QuotaBills
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot

It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

If there's no coffee, I'm not getting up. Make Groundhog Day just better. - ethicalbean

If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown


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24-Jun-2019