Hot Coffee

Spilling the beans in the office

Coffee with special added flavour


A young clerk’s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.

None of the judge’s yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk’s pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted.

The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.

The judge couldn’t resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique.

“Oh, there’s not much to it,” admitted the clerk happily, “I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get outside your office.”


QuotaBills
Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

What would life be without coffee? But then, what is it even with coffee? - King Louis XV

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright


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18-Sep-2019