Hot Coffee

Spilling the beans in the office

Coffee with special added flavour


A young clerk’s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.

None of the judge’s yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk’s pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted.

The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.

The judge couldn’t resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique.

“Oh, there’s not much to it,” admitted the clerk happily, “I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get outside your office.”


QuotaBills
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

Coffee and love taste best when hot. - German Proverb

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne


see also   Coffee  &  Judge  Sections
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All

 

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22-Feb-2018