Hot Coffee

Spilling the beans in the office

Coffee with special added flavour


A young clerk’s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.

None of the judge’s yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk’s pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted.

The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.

The judge couldn’t resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique.

“Oh, there’s not much to it,” admitted the clerk happily, “I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get outside your office.”


QuotaBills
The law is silent during war. - Cicero

Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne


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26-Apr-2018