Hot Coffee

Spilling the beans in the office

Coffee with special added flavour


A young clerk’s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way.

None of the judge’s yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut the clerk’s pay by one-third if he continued to produce one-third less than the judge wanted.

The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.

The judge couldn’t resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented the clerk on his new technique.

“Oh, there’s not much to it,” admitted the clerk happily, “I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in when I get outside your office.”


QuotaBills
Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


see also   Coffee  &  Judge  Sections
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All

 

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24-Jul-2017