From Job Applicants ...
1. I demand a
salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
2. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0, computor and spreadsheat progroms.
3. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
4. I Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
5. I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.
6. I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.
7. Personal interests: Donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.
8. Finished eighth in my class of ten.
9. Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
10. Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.
11. Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
12. Its best for employers that I not work with people.
13. Lets meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.
14. You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.
15. I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
16. Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.
17. I am loyal to my employer at all costs ... Please feel free to respond to my resume on
my office voice mail.
18. As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.
19. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.
20. Note: Please dont miscontrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job.
21. Marital status: often. Children: various.
22. The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.